


Clue

by ElvenQueen18



Category: X-Men Evolution
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Gen, Kurt/Kitty is present but not a focus, Multiple Endings, Murder Mystery Played For Laughs, Slapstick, Written From 2010 to 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27407155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenQueen18/pseuds/ElvenQueen18
Summary: Six individuals are all invited to a dinner party at the X-Mansion. Professor Xavier, the host, is murdered—and everyone is a suspect! Based on the movie "Clue."





	1. Meeting the Guests

Dark storm clouds covered the evening sky as someone drove towards a large, elegant mansion. After the car reached the driveway, the car door opened and a bespectacled, salt-and-pepper-haired man dressed in a fine suit and carrying a bag stepped out.

As the man walked up to the front door, he caught sight of two reddish brown, barking guard dogs. He reached into the bag, pulled out a couple of beef bones, and tossed them to the dogs. They quieted down and trotted away to gnaw on their bones.

The man cinched the dogs' chains so they wouldn't be able to reach the door. He was about to enter the mansion when he suddenly smelled something funky. The man checked the bottom of his shoes to find that the dogs had left him a "present."

"Well, isn't that nice?" the man muttered sarcastically, shooting a glare at the dogs, who didn't appear to be bothered.

The man opened the front door to the sound of music. He headed down the hall in the direction of the library, where the music was coming from.

In the library, a blonde, curvy young maid was dancing while polishing a glass. When the man walked in, he turned off the stereo, stopping the music.

"Tabitha, is everything ready?" the man asked.

"Yes, Mr. McCoy," the blonde replied in a strong British accent.

"You have your...instructions?"

Tabitha nodded; as McCoy left the library, she wrinkled her nose and sniffed the air.

The next room McCoy went into was the kitchen, where an Asian woman with long black hair was sharpening a knife.

"Everything in order, Ms. Lee?" McCoy questioned.

Ms. Lee turned around, knife in hand. "Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes," she said.

Just then, the doorbell rang, and McCoy went off to answer it.

* * *

A brown-haired man with red sunglasses covering his eyes stood on the front porch. He flinched as the dogs growled at him.

The door opened, revealing McCoy.

"Good evening," he greeted.

"Good evening," the other man answered. "I don't know if—"

"Yes, you are expected, Cyclops," McCoy interrupted, leading him into the hall. "May I take your coat? You _are_ Cyclops, right?"

The brown-haired man frowned as he gave McCoy his coat. "No, that's not my name. My name is Sc—"

McCoy cut him off again. "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to go by an alias tonight."

Cyclops shook his head, then suddenly sniffed the air as McCoy hung his coat.

"So who are you supposed to be?" Cyclops asked McCoy as they started across the hall.

"I'm Hank McCoy, the butler."

When they reached the library, Tabitha was still there, pouring a bottle of champagne into several wineglasses.

"Tabitha, won't you attend to Cyclops and gives him anything he needs?" McCoy paused. "Within reason, of course."

As McCoy left, Cyclops began to speak. "Hey, Mr. McCoy, I was..."

His voice trailed off as he realized that McCoy had left the room; Cyclops distantly heard the doorbell ring.

* * *

A pale woman with an unusual white streak in her short, dark red hair and all dressed in black stood at the front door.

"You are expected, ma'am," McCoy said after he opened the door.

"Do you know who I am?" the woman asked as she followed McCoy into the hall.

"Only that you're supposed to be referred to as Rogue," McCoy replied.

"Yeah, it said that in the letter," Rogue said, "but why?"

McCoy did not answer her question as he removed her coat. A few minutes later, they had entered the library, where Cyclops was sipping his drink and sneaking glances at Tabitha.

"Rogue, this is Tabitha, the maid," McCoy said, gesturing towards the blonde.

Tabitha and Rogue looked at each other coolly.

"I see you two know each other," McCoy commented.

Rogue turned to look at Cyclops. "Hello," she greeted.

"Hello," he responded.

* * *

"Oh, great," a petite, brunette woman grumbled as she stood in the street by her broken-down car.

She glanced up at the sky as thunder rumbled in the distance. " _And_ it looks like it's going to rain."

A few seconds later, the woman saw headlights a short way away. As the car got nearer, she waved her hand in the air. The car screeched to a halt just past her and backed up a little.

A window rolled down, and the woman went to the car and peered inside. The driver was a man with dark blue hair that reached his chin. He grinned at the woman.

"Need a lift?" he asked.

The woman smiled and got into the passenger's seat.

"Thanks," she said.

"So what's a woman like you doing out on a street like that?" the man asked after a slight pause.

The woman scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, very cute." The man chuckled. "Seriously, where are you headed?"

"To a dinner party," the woman answered, pulling out a sheet of paper from her purse, "at...the X-Mansion."

"Hold on, let me look at that." The man took the paper from the woman and skimmed it quickly. "That's where I'm going. I got a letter like this, too."

The two stared at each other, looking a little freaked out.

Rain started to fall.

* * *

"And this is Phoenix." McCoy introduced a redheaded woman to Cyclops and Rogue.

As the two greeted the newcomer, McCoy turned to Tabitha.

"Tabitha, will you go check that dinner will be ready as soon as everyone has arrived?" he asked. The maid nodded and left the library.

The doorbell rang.

* * *

By now, it was raining quite hard. A dark-skinned man with light blond hair was standing on the front porch, the dogs growling. McCoy opened the door.

"Is this the right place to meet Professor Xavier?" the man asked.

"You must be Spyke," McCoy said, ignoring the question.

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Sit!" McCoy suddenly commanded the dogs.

Spyke quickly sat down on the bench by the door.

"Not you, sir; the dogs," McCoy told him.

Sheepish, Spyke got up and followed McCoy into the mansion. When they got to the library, lightning flashed and a clap of thunder was heard, causing Spyke to gulp nervously.

* * *

The indigo-haired man and the brunette woman exited the man's car after they reached the driveway of the mansion and hurried to the front door. The man attempted to shield the woman from the pouring rain.

"Creepy place," he remarked, putting an arm around her waist. She quickly shook him off of her and rang the doorbell.

A couple of minutes later, McCoy opened the door.

"Nightcrawler, and Shadowcat." McCoy acknowledged the man and the woman with a nod. "I didn't know you were acquainted."

Shadowcat exchanged a glance with Nightcrawler, but neither of them said anything as they entered the mansion.

* * *

Soon, the three of them were in the library with everyone else.

"May I introduce Shadowcat and Nightcrawler," McCoy announced.

Cyclops, Rogue, Phoenix, and Spyke all nodded to the two newcomers. Tabitha gave them wineglasses, and Nightcrawler clinked his glass with Shadowcat's.

"Of course," McCoy continued, "seeing as you've all been addressed by a pseudonym, you'll surely realize that no one is being referred to by their real name."

The guests exchanged glances, as if to say, _"Thank you, Captain Obvious."_ But before anyone could say anything, a gong was sounded once, then twice.

Spyke jumped at the sound and accidentally spilled his drink on Phoenix.

"Hey!" she exclaimed as Spyke handed her his glass and started to mop her up.

"Sorry," he said apologetically, "I'm a little accident-prone."

McCoy didn't seem to notice as he said, "Sounds like dinner is ready."


	2. Dinner

McCoy led the guests into the dining room. "You'll find your names beside your places. Please be seated," he said, gesturing towards the table.

As the guests were finding where they were supposed to sit, Cyclops eyed the chair at the head of the table.

"Is that seat for you, Mr. McCoy?" he asked.

"No, sir; I'm only the butler," McCoy replied.

"Meaning?"

"The butler is the head of the kitchen and dining room. I keep things tidy around here," McCoy explained.

Cyclops was about to continue when Shadowcat interrupted him.

"Well, Mr. Butler, what's this dinner party all about?"

"'Ours is not to reason why,'" McCoy recited. "'Ours is but to do and die.'"

"Die?" Nightcrawler repeated, sounding alarmed.

McCoy smiled. "I'm just quoting from Alfred, Lord Tennyson."

"Hmm," Cyclops mused. "I prefer Kipling. 'The female of the species is more deadly than the male.'" He turned to look at Phoenix.

"Do you like Kipling, Phoenix?" he inquired.

Phoenix smiled. "Sure, I'll eat anything."

By now, the guests were all seated at the dining room table. Shadowcat, Nightcrawler, and Rogue were sitting on the left, and Cyclops, Phoenix, and Spyke were sitting on the right.

Tabitha entered the room from the kitchen, carrying a tray of bowls of soup.

"Sharks' Fin Soup, ma'am," she announced to Shadowcat as she gave the other woman a bowl.

As Tabitha continued serving the guests, Cyclops again looked at the chair at the head of the table. "So, is this for our host?"

"No, sir," McCoy, who was pouring drinks into the guests' glasses, replied. "It's for the seventh guest, Professor Xavier."

"But I thought Professor Xavier _was_ our host," Rogue pointed out.

"So did I!" the other guests said in unison.

Rogue looked at McCoy. "So who is our host, Mr. McCoy?"

The butler chuckled slightly as he finished with the drinks.

"Well, I want to start while it's still hot," Nightcrawler said, placing his napkin onto his lap and grabbing his spoon.

"But shouldn't we wait for the other guest?" Shadowcat wanted to know.

"I'll keep something warm for him," Tabitha said as she brought Phoenix the last bowl.

"What did you have in mind?" Phoenix asked, smirking.

The guests began to eat their soup as Tabitha and McCoy went into the kitchen, closing the door behind them. For the next few minutes, no one said anything, too concentrated on their meal to bother with conversation.

At last, Shadowcat decided to speak, talking rather fast.

"Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I mean, I know how difficult it is when new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I suppose I ought to start us off. I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or, heck, what _I'm_ doing here, but I'm going to enjoy myself, all the same, and, wow, this soup's great, don't you think?"

By this time, Shadowcat had earned herself quite a few stares. Not seeming to mind in the least, she abruptly turned her attention towards Rogue and asked, "So, are you married?"

Rogue looked a little startled by the question. "Well...in a manner of speaking, yes."

"I know who you are," Spyke said suddenly.

There was a slight pause.

"How do you know who I am?" Rogue asked Spyke.

He smiled at her. "I live in Washington, D.C., too."

"Well, come on, then," Phoenix interjected. "Who's your husband?"

Just then, McCoy opened the door from the kitchen, soon followed by Tabitha with the second course of dinner.

"So what does your husband do?" Shadowcat asked Rogue as McCoy took away their soup bowls and Tabitha served them the second course, which appeared to be a white, creamy substance.

"Nothing," Rogue replied, a little too quickly.

"Nothing?" Shadowcat repeated.

Rogue hesitated. "Well, he just...lies around on his back all day."

"Sounds like hard work to me," Phoenix remarked.

It was at that moment that thunder crashed. Spyke, as jumpy as ever, spilled his drink on Phoenix. Again.

"I'm sorry," he told her, grabbing his napkin to wipe her up.

"Oh, don't bother," Phoenix responded, taking her own napkin.

The guests fell into silence for the next few minutes. Shadowcat was eating the white stuff with slight gusto.

She turned towards McCoy. "This is one of my favorite recipes," she said.

"I know, ma'am," he answered.

After a couple more minutes of silence, Shadowcat decided to try to start up conversation again.

"So what do you do in Washington, D.C., Spyke?" she asked.

Spyke didn't reply.

"Come on, how are we going to get acquainted if we don't say anything about ourselves?" Shadowcat sounded rather frustrated.

"Maybe he doesn't want to get acquainted with you," Nightcrawler calmly informed her.

"Well, if I wasn't trying to get the conversation going, then we'd all be sitting here in awkward silence," Shadowcat countered.

Nightcrawler looked amused. "Afraid of silence, Shadowcat?"

She had nothing to say to that.

"So, Nightcrawler, what do you do?" Rogue asked.

"I work for the United Nations Organization," he said.

"You're a politician?" Cyclops wanted to know.

"Not really," Nightcrawler responded, shrugging. "I work for a branch of UNO, the World Health Organization." After a slight pause, he asked, "What about you, Cyclops? What do you do?"

"I work for the Pentagon," Cyclops replied, taking a bite of his food.

"You're not going to mention that you live in Arlington County, Virginia?" Phoenix asked.

Cyclops stared at her. "How did you know that?"

"Does that mean you also live in Arlington County, Phoenix?" Spyke inquired.

"No, I live in New York City," Phoenix answered. She then looked at Cyclops. "But I've definitely seen you before," she grinned, "though you might've not seen me."

Cyclops suddenly stood up from his chair, turning to face McCoy, who was still in the room.

"Alright, Mr. McCoy, where's our host? Why have we been brought here?" Cyclops demanded.

Before McCoy had the chance to answer, the doorbell rang, and he left to answer it.

The guests could hear McCoy's voice coming from the hall, talking to someone who sounded unfamiliar.

"It's about time you got back, sir."

"Are you locking me in, Hank? I'll take the key, if you please."

"Over my dead body, sir. May I take your bag?"

"No. I'll leave it here until I need it."

"I assume it contains evidence?"

"It contains...surprises, my old friend."

McCoy returned to the dining room, followed by a tall, bald man.

"Ladies and gentlemen," McCoy said, "may I present Professor Xavier."

The Professor stared at the guests. "What are they doing here?"

"Eating dinner." McCoy gestured towards the head of the table. "Please sit down, Professor."

As the Professor sat down, Tabitha emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of soup.

"You can take that away, Tabitha." The Professor waved the soup off, and Tabitha went back into the kitchen.

After a moment of silence, Shadowcat spoke. "Look, I demand to know what's going on here. Why have we been dragged to this place?"

"I believe you all received a letter?" McCoy said. " _It will be to your advantage to be here on this date, for Professor Charles Xavier will bring an end to a long-standing confidential and painful financial liability. Signed, a friend._ Ring any bells?"

Spyke nodded slowly. "Yeah, I received a letter like that."

"So did we," Shadowcat added, gesturing towards Nightcrawler.

Tabitha returned to the dining room with a plate of the white substance, trying to serve the Professor for the second time.

"No, thank you, Tabitha; I already ate," he told her.

"How do you know her name?" Spyke asked.

"I _would_ know the names of my servants." The Professor eyed Tabitha suggestively. "Wouldn't I, dear?" The maid shuddered.

After a momentary pause, McCoy addressed the guests. "Would anyone like some dessert?"

No one said anything.

"Very well, then," McCoy said. "In that case, I suggest we go into the study, where I believe our host will reveal his intentions."

And with that, everyone got up to leave the dining room.


	3. Blackmail and Murder

It wasn't long before McCoy, the Professor, and the guests all arrived in the study. While still elegant, the study was the most comfortable-looking room the guests had been in so far: there were three couches, a couple of chairs, a bookshelf, a table with drinks, and a desk.

Spyke looked around the room. "There's no one here."

"Please help yourselves to brandy and be seated," McCoy told the guests.

McCoy walked over to the desk, picking up a manila envelope that read, _"To Hank McCoy: Please open AFTER dinner."_ Meanwhile, Rogue took a seat on one of the couches, Spyke standing to the right of her. Cyclops and Phoenix sat together on another couch, and Nightcrawler and Shadowcat did the same. Professor Xavier was sitting in a chair that was near the door of the study.

McCoy took a couple of minutes to open the envelope and skim a few of the papers that were inside.

Finally, he looked up. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm instructed to tell you what you all have in common with each other." McCoy glanced at Professor Xavier. "Unless _you_ would like to have that honor, Professor?"

"Why should I?" the Professor asked. "Don't they already know who I am?"

"I don't think so," McCoy replied. "You haven't identified yourself."

The Professor suddenly stood up. "It's a hoax! I suggest we leave." He ran out of the study.

"I'm sorry, sir, but you can't leave this house!" McCoy shouted, running to catch up with the Professor, who had reached the front door. The confused guests followed after McCoy.

"Oh, really? And just how are you going to stop me?" the Professor demanded, trying to open the front door, only to realize that it was locked.

"There's no way out," McCoy said. "All the windows have bars, and all the doors are locked."

"This is outrageous!" the Professor exclaimed. "You can't hold me prisoner in my own house!"

The guests all started talking at once. McCoy had to shout to make himself heard.

"People, people! Please return to the study. Everything will be explained shortly."

With sighs all around, the guests filed into the study.

"You too, Professor," McCoy said as the other man walked past him towards the back of the hall.

The Professor started to run.

"Other way!" McCoy ran after him.

* * *

The Professor ran into the conservatory. Plants were all around the room, and one of the walls was made of glass, leading to the outside of the mansion. McCoy caught up to the Professor in time to see him pick up a flower pot with the intention of throwing it at the glass.

"You can't get out that way," McCoy said.

"Why not?" the Professor asked.

Suddenly, one of the guard dogs jumped at the glass, barking and snarling.

The Professor looked at McCoy, who was smiling smugly, and put down the flower pot.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the study, Tabitha was serving brandy to the guests. Cyclops was sitting next to Spyke on one of the couches; Shadowcat and Rogue were sitting alone, the former seated on another couch and the latter seated on an armchair; Nightcrawler and Phoenix had decided to stay standing.

When the Professor and McCoy entered the study, the Professor returned to his chair from earlier, while McCoy walked up to the front of the room.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "you all have one thing in common. You're all being blackmailed. For quite some time, you have been paying what you can afford—and in some cases, more than you can afford—to someone who threatens to expose you. And none of you know who's blackmailing you."

"Oh, come _on_!" Shadowcat exclaimed. "That's ridiculous! No one could blackmail me! I—I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Would anyone else like to deny it?" McCoy asked. The guests exchanged glances, but no one answered.

McCoy continued. "Since everyone here is in the same boat, there's no harm in revealing some details; I am instructed to do so. Thank you, Tabitha," he added to the maid, who took this as her cue to leave the room.

"There isn't any way you can spare us the humiliation?" Rogue asked McCoy.

"I'm sorry," he told her as he gathered up the papers that were from the envelope. When he was done with that, McCoy walked over to Nightcrawler.

"Nightcrawler, you are married, right?" he asked.

"Yes," Nightcrawler responded. "I've been married for three years or so."

"What does Nightcrawler being married have to do with him being blackmailed?" Phoenix wanted to know.

"You know how men are supposed to be faithful to their wives?" McCoy asked her.

"Yeah."

"Well, he isn't."

Phoenix let out a low whistle. "Who's the other woman?" she asked Nightcrawler, sounding interested.

"Hey, his personal life has nothing to do with you!" Shadowcat snapped at Phoenix.

McCoy rounded onto the brunette. "Shadowcat, you were the cause of a devastating automobile accident."

"Keyword there being 'accident,'" Shadowcat pointed out. "It doesn't mean it was on purpose!"

"Yet you've been paying blackmail for over a year to keep yourself safe," McCoy said.

"So it's true?" Cyclops asked.

"No, it's a lie!" Shadowcat insisted, standing up.

"Well, I'm willing to believe you," Rogue assured her. "I'm also being blackmailed for something I didn't do."

"Me, too," Spyke said.

"And me," Cyclops added.

"Not me," Phoenix chimed in, smirking.

McCoy raised an eyebrow at her. "You're not being blackmailed?"

"Oh, I'm being blackmailed," Phoenix said, walking to the desk and sitting herself on it, "but I actually did what I'm being blackmailed for."

"What did you do?" Nightcrawler asked.

"Well, to be blunt," Phoenix answered, "I run a specialized hotel that provides men with the company of a young lady for a short while."

"So how did you know Cyclops lives in Arlington County?" Spyke questioned. "Is he one of your clients?"

"No!" Cyclops exclaimed, getting to his feet.

"I was asking Phoenix," Spyke told him.

"Well, you tell him it's not true!" Cyclops said, looking at Phoenix.

"It's not true," the redhead repeated.

"Is _that_ true?" Nightcrawler was grinning.

"No, it's not true," Phoenix admitted.

"Ha!" Spyke crowed. "So it is true!"

"A double negative!" McCoy declared.

"Double negative?" Cyclops repeated. He walked closer to Phoenix. "You mean you have _photographs_?" he whispered.

"That sounds like a confession to me," McCoy said. "You gave yourself away."

"What's so terrible about Cyclops visiting a house of ill fame?" Nightcrawler wanted to know as he walked over to stand next to Shadowcat.

"He holds a sensitive security position at the Pentagon," McCoy explained. "And Cyclops," he continued, "for someone who no longer has a military man's pay, you drive a very expensive car."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Cyclops demanded. "I came into money after I left the military, when my parents died."

There was a moment of silence, then McCoy turned towards Rogue.

"Rogue, you've been paying the blackmailer ever since your husband died under...mysterious circumstances."

Phoenix suddenly burst out laughing.

Rogue stared at her. "How is that funny?"

Phoenix's laughter subsided. "So that's why he's on his back—he's in a coffin!"

"I didn't kill him," Rogue said flatly.

Cyclops looked confused. "Then why are you paying the blackmailer?"

Rogue shrugged. "I don't want a scandal, now, do I?" She paused thoughtfully. "He didn't seem to like me much; he had threatened to kill me in public."

"Why would he want to kill you in public?" Phoenix wrinkled her nose.

"I think she means that he threatened, in public, to kill her," McCoy said.

"Oh." Phoenix then smiled slyly. "So was that his final word?"

Rogue chuckled. "Being killed _is_ pretty final."

"And yet he was the one who died, not you, Rogue," McCoy pointed out, "not you."

"What did he do for a living?" Phoenix asked.

"He was a nuclear physicist," Rogue answered.

"What was he like?"

Rogue made a face. "He was a stupidly optimistic man. Must have came as a great shock to him when he died. He was found dead at home, and his head had been cut off, and so had his...you know."

The men in the room cringed as they realized what Rogue was getting at. After a short pause, Spyke cleared his throat and stood up from his seat.

"I have something to say," he began, "and I'm not gonna wait for Mr. McCoy to say it. I work for the State Department, and I am a homosexual."

A slightly stunned silence ensued.

Spyke continued. "I feel no personal shame or guilt about this," he momentarily paused; his tone of voice seemed to suggest that he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, "but I have to keep it a secret or I risk losing my job." He sat back down.

Nightcrawler eyed the Professor, who was still sitting in his chair. "That just leaves Professor Xavier."

"Yeah," Phoenix agreed. "What's your secret?"

"Haven't you guessed?" McCoy asked rhetorically. "He's the one blackmailing you all."

Lightning flashed across the Professor's very satisfied-looking face.

Cyclops stared at him for a few second in shock, then he was suddenly angry.

"You _bastard_!" he yelled, advancing on the Professor, along with the other guests.

The Professor stood up as Cyclops raised his fists. "Come on, put 'em up!"

The bald man merely stepped on Cyclops' foot, and a brief scuffle ensued. The other guests tried to separate them, and after a few minutes, Rogue decided to take matters into her own hands and kneed the Professor where it would hurt a man the most.

"Was that necessary, Rogue?" Spyke asked as the Professor doubled over in pain.

"The police are coming!" McCoy announced suddenly.

Commotion broke out again as the guests started talking at once, not liking the idea of the police arriving.

"Listen!" McCoy exclaimed. "Blackmail depends on secrecy. You've all admitted how the Professor's been able to blackmail you. All you need to do is tell the police, he'll be arrested, and your problems will be over."

The Professor struggled to stand up, still in pain. "It won't be that easy. You'll never tell the police."

"Then I will," McCoy said. "I have the evidence, and Tabitha is tape recording this conversation as we speak. Now, the police will be here in," the butler checked his watch, "forty-five minutes. Tell them the truth, and Professor Xavier will be imprisoned."

The Professor looked undaunted. "I think now would be a good time to get my bag from the hall."

Without waiting for a reply, the Professor left the study, and returned a few minutes later with a bag.

"Is that the evidence against us?" Rogue asked bitterly.

Wordlessly, the Professor opened the bag. Inside it were several boxes, each a different size and shape. The Professor began to hand out the boxes to the guests. When he finished, he made his way to the door.

"All right," he said, "open them."

One by one, the guests opened their packages. Phoenix got a brass candlestick; Rogue got a thickly coiled rope, which was tied into a noose; Spyke got a lead pipe; Cyclops got a heavy wrench; Nightcrawler got a revolver; finally, Shadowcat got a large knife.

As the guests wore puzzled expressions on their faces, the Professor began to speak.

"You each have been given a deadly weapon. If you denounce me to the police, I will personally make sure that you are exposed. But...if one of you kill Hank right now..."

McCoy's eyes widened in shock.

"...no one but us need ever know," the Professor continued with a smirk. He walked to the light switch and closed the door.

"The only way to keep your secrets safe is for one of you to kill Mr. McCoy," the Professor said. "Now."

He turned off the lights, plunging the room into darkness.

A couple of thumps were heard.

A man breathed heavily.

A gun was shot.

Something broke.

A woman screamed.

Shadowcat turned the lights back on, and what she was looking at caused her to drop the knife in horrified shock.

Professor Xavier was lying face-first on the floor, and he wasn't moving.

Nightcrawler was the first to move, and he knelt beside the Professor to check for signs of life.

Grimly, he looked up at the others, who were gathering around. "He's dead!"


	4. Lots of Screaming and Long Stories

"Who had the gun?" Rogue asked as soon as she was able to find her voice.

"I did," Nightcrawler said.

"Then you shot him!" Shadowcat accused.

"I didn't!" he protested.

"You had the gun," she reminded him. "If you didn't shoot him, who did?"

Nightcrawler turned the Professor's body over onto its back.

"Nobody!" he said. "There's no gunshot wound."

Actually, that was the strange part. The Professor was clearly dead, but he didn't look like he had been shot, strangled, stabbed, or (as far as anyone of them could tell) harmed at all.

"Someone tried to get the gun from me in the dark and the gun went off," Nightcrawler continued. He lifted his head up and noticed broken shards of glass next to the mantle and a hole in the wall.

"The bullet broke that vase!" he added, pointing.

The guests and McCoy rushed over to the mantle.

"He's right," Cyclops stated, studying the wall. "There's a bullet hole here, see?"

Spyke grabbed Nightcrawler by the front of his jacket. "How did the Professor die?" he demanded.

"I don't know!" Nightcrawler snapped, shoving Spyke away. "I'm not a forensic expert!"

"Well, one of us killed him!" Rogue said.

"I didn't do it," Spyke blurted out, even though no one was accusing him.

"I need a drink," Shadowcat muttered, walking over to the door and grabbing the last glass of brandy on the table. She began to drink.

Nightcrawler was seized with a sudden thought. "Maybe he was poisoned!"

At those words, Shadowcat dropped the now empty glass and screamed in panic. After several seconds, she was still screaming.

Looking a little guilty, Nightcrawler went over to her.

"Now, calm down, Shadowcat," he said, trying to smile as he took her to a couch. "I only said _maybe_ he was poisoned. We don't know anything yet."

Shadowcat sat down, but she continued to scream. Nightcrawler looked at everyone else with a pleading look on his face.

Spyke stepped forward and slapped Shadowcat in the face, effectively getting her to be quiet.

"You didn't have to hit her." Nightcrawler glared.

"It got her to stop screaming, didn't it?" Spyke asked.

Nightcrawler decided to drop the issue. " _Was_ the brandy poisoned?"

"I don't know."

Phoenix picked up the glass where Shadowcat had dropped it. "Looks like we'll never know," she said.

"Unless she dies, too," Nightcrawler pointed out, looking at Shadowcat in concern.

The others crowded around her; the woman seemed to be going into shock.

Shadowcat recovered from her stupor when they heard a scream coming from another room. Led by McCoy, they ran into the hall.

* * *

They followed the continuing screams to another door. Phoenix tried to open it.

"It's locked," she reported.

"Open up!" McCoy called.

"It must be the murderer," Cyclops said.

"Why would he scream?" Spyke wondered out loud.

"He must have a victim in there." Rogue's eyes widened in realization. "Oh my God! Tabitha!"

The door opened at that moment, and they poured into the billiard room to find the blonde maid standing there, appearing unharmed.

"You're alive!" McCoy exclaimed.

Tabitha shot him a reproachful look. "No thanks to you!"

"What do you mean?"

"You locked me up with a murderer, you idiot!"

"So the murderer _is_ in this room," Rogue mused.

"Exactly," Tabitha said.

"But where?" Spyke asked.

"Where?" Tabitha repeated. "Here!"

Spyke looked around. Tabitha continued.

"We're all looking at him. Or her. It's like Rogue said—one of you is the killer!"

"How did you know she said that?" Cyclops questioned.

"I was listening!"

Rogue frowned. "But...why were you screaming in here all by yourself?"

"Because I'm scared! I drank the brandy, too!" By now, Tabitha sounded close to tears. "Oh God, I can't stay in here by myself."

Cyclops and Phoenix walked over to Tabitha.

"Come back to the study with us." Phoenix took the maid by the shoulder.

"With the murderer?" she cried.

Cyclops shook the wrench in his hand. "There's a safety in numbers," he said; he then glanced at the wrench and put it away.

They all left the room.

* * *

"Is there any way to know how he died?" Spyke asked as soon as they were back in the study, eyeing the Professor's body.

"No," Nightcrawler answered.

McCoy walked over to the desk, picked up a mini tape recorder from behind a stack of books, and turned it off; all the while, he was talking more to himself than to the guests.

"This is terrible...this is absolutely terrible! This isn't what I'd intended, my God..."

"Not what _you_ intended?" Shadowcat interrupted, looking at McCoy in confusion.

"I invited you," McCoy said, addressing the guests. "In fact, I wrote the letters. It was all my idea."

"Wait a minute. I'm not getting this," Rogue said. "Why did you invite us to meet the Professor? Were you helping him in blackmailing us?"

"Certainly not!" McCoy looked insulted.

Phoenix folded her arms across her chest. "I think you'd better explain."

McCoy sighed. "Please sit down, everyone."

And with that, Cyclops and Phoenix sat down together on a couch, Tabitha sat next to Shadowcat on another couch, Rogue sat in the chair near the door, Nightcrawler sat in the armchair, and Spyke decided to lean against the serving table.

"When I said I was Professor Xavier's butler, this was both true and misleading," McCoy began. "I _was_ once his butler, but it wasn't his death tonight that brought my employment with him to an end."

"When did it end?" Cyclops asked.

"When my wife decided to...end her life," McCoy said. "She also was being blackmailed by the Professor. He hated my wife for the same reason he hated all of you: he thought you were all thoroughly un-American."

Just then, the serving table gave way, landing Spyke, as well as several glasses, onto the floor.

"My fault entirely," Spyke said as he got himself up.

McCoy continued as if there had been no interruption. "For some reason, he felt it was inappropriate for a married man to have a mistress, for a woman to emasculate her husband, and so on and so forth."

"But this is crazy!" Spyke cut in. "If he was such a patriotic American, why didn't he just report us to the authorities?"

"He decided to put his information to good use and make some money out of it," McCoy explained.

"And what was your role in all of this?" Nightcrawler asked.

"I was a victim, too. Or at least, my wife was. She had friends that were..." McCoy paused; this was apparently difficult for him to say, "terrorists."

Several occupants gasped.

"Well...we all make mistakes," McCoy said, sounding choked up.

Rogue stood up, got a tissue from her purse, and walked over to McCoy to give it to him.

The butler appeared to calm down after a few seconds. "Professor Xavier threatened to give my wife's name to the authorities unless she named them. She refused, so he blackmailed her. We had no money, and we worked for him for nothing. We were no better than slaves! Well, to make a long story short—"

"Too late," Cyclops muttered.

"After my wife's suicide, I was determined to put the Professor behind bars. It seemed that the best way to do it was to get everyone face to face, confront the Professor with his crimes, and...turn him over to the police."

"So everything's explained," Nightcrawler stated.

Phoenix rolled her eyes. "Nothing's explained—we still don't know who killed him!"

"And that's something we need to find out in the next thirty-nine minutes," McCoy said, "before the police arrive."

Shadowcat stood up. "We can't have them come here now!"

"But how are we going to find out which of you did it?" Spyke wanted to know.

"What do you mean, 'which of _you_ did it'?" Nightcrawler demanded.

"Well, I didn't do it!"

"Well, one of us did," McCoy pointed out. "We all had the opportunity, and we all had a motive."

"Great, we'll all go to the chair." Phoenix got to her feet.

"What if it wasn't one of us?" Nightcrawler suggested.

"Who else could it have been?" Cyclops asked.

Nightcrawler addressed McCoy and Tabitha. "Who else is in the house?"

"Only the cook," they both replied in unison.

"The cook!" everyone chorused.

They raced to the kitchen.

* * *

When they got to the kitchen, they spent a minute or so looking around.

Spyke went over to the pantry. "Well, the cook's not here."

The pantry door began to open, and Phoenix screamed as Ms. Lee fell out of the pantry and into Spyke's arms. The knife was sticking out of the cook's back—another murder!

"I didn't do it!" Spyke cried out, unceremoniously dropping Ms. Lee's body onto the ground.

Cyclops, Rogue, and Phoenix knelt beside Spyke to examine the body.

"Don't touch it; that's evidence," Cyclops said when Rogue reached for the knife.

"Not for us," she countered. "We have to find out who did this. We can't take fingerprints!"

"I think you'd better explain yourself, Mr. McCoy," Cyclops stated, getting up and walking towards the butler.

"Me? Why me?" McCoy wanted to know.

"Who would want to kill the cook?" Spyke was asking.

"Dinner wasn't that bad," Phoenix remarked.

Cyclops turned to look at her. "How can you joke at a time like this?"

Phoenix stood up, hands on her hips. "It's my defense mechanism."

"Some defense!" Cyclops snorted. "If I was the killer, I'd kill you next!"

Rogue and Spyke slowly got up, staring at Cyclops in shock. Phoenix, on the other hand, appeared unfazed.

She folded her arms. "Oh?"

An awkward silence followed.

"I said 'if.' 'If'!" Cyclops insisted.

Phoenix merely raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, there's only one admitted killer here, and it's not me, it's her!" Cyclops pointed at Rogue.

She glared at him. "I've admitted nothing."

"Well, you paid the blackmail," Cyclops pointed out. "How many husbands have you had?"

"Just mine?" Rogue asked.

"Uh, yeah, just yours." Had he not been wearing his sunglasses, Cyclops would have been seen rolling his eyes.

"Five," Rogue stated.

"Five?" Cyclops repeated.

Rogue nodded. "Yes, just the five. Husbands are like Kleenex—soft, strong, and disposable."

"You lure men to their deaths, like a spider with flies!" Cyclops snapped.

"Flies are where men are most vulnerable," Rogue replied, smirking.

"Right!" There was a pause as Cyclops realized what he had just said. He decided to change the subject.

"So if it wasn't you, then who was it? Who had the knife, anyway?" Cyclops suddenly turned and pointed at Shadowcat. "It was _you_ , Shadowcat, wasn't it?"

"Yes, but I put it down," Shadowcat (who was standing near the doorway, with Nightcrawler on her right) said.

"Where?" Nightcrawler asked.

"In the study," Shadowcat answered.

"When?"

"When we saw the Professor dead." Shadowcat looked at the others. "Any of you could have picked up the knife."

"Hmm," McCoy mused. "I suggest we take the cook's body into the study."

"Why?" Cyclops questioned.

"I'm the butler; I like to keep the kitchen clean."

* * *

Everyone made their way back to the study. Nightcrawler and McCoy were both carrying Ms. Lee's body.

Suddenly, Nightcrawler let go of the cook and pointed. "Look!"

"What?" McCoy and Spyke asked in unison.

"The body's gone!" Nightcrawler exclaimed.

Ms. Lee's body was dropped.

"What are you staring at?" Shadowcat asked.

"Nothing," Cyclops said.

"Who's there?" Rogue wanted to know.

"Nobody," McCoy stated. "No body, that's what we mean. The Professor's body—it's gone!"

Sure enough, Professor Xavier's body _was_ gone. The only objects on the floor were the wrench and the rope.


	5. A Disappearing Act

"Maybe he wasn't dead," Rogue said at once.

"He was," Nightcrawler insisted.

"We should have made sure."

Shadowcat rolled her eyes. "How? By cutting off the Professor's head?"

Rogue shot a glare at her. "That wasn't called for."

"Where is he?" Phoenix broke in, pushing Rogue and Shadowcat aside.

"We'd better look for him," McCoy said.

He walked into the study, Ms. Lee's body forgotten for the moment, and the guests and Tabitha followed him. Several seconds were spent on searching the room.

"Well," Spyke began, "he couldn't have been dead."

"He _was_!" Nightcrawler snapped. "At least, I thought he was. But..." he sighed, suddenly tired, "...what difference does it make now?"

"Makes quite a difference to him," Phoenix quipped as she and Rogue started looking around the desk.

"Maybe," Spyke said, "the Professor killed the cook!"

"Yes!" Phoenix and Rogue agreed in unison.

"How?" McCoy asked.

Spyke did not know how to answer, and Phoenix and Rogue looked rather disappointed.

"Well, if you don't mind..." Rogue's voice trailed off as she walked over to Tabitha. "Is there a bathroom?" she asked her.

"Yes," Tabitha replied.

"Thanks." Rogue left the study, stepping over Ms. Lee's body as she went.

Phoenix picked up McCoy's manila envelope from the desk and pulled out a series of photo negatives.

"What's this, Mr. McCoy?" she wanted to know.

"I'm afraid those are the negatives to which Cyclops earlier referred," McCoy explained as he went over to Phoenix.

Cyclops raced to the desk. "Oh my God!"

Phoenix grinned in amusement. "Were you planning on blackmailing him?" she asked McCoy.

"Of course not!" the butler responded. "I'd obtained them for Cyclops, and I was going to give them back as soon as Professor Xavier was unmasked."

Phoenix continued to examine the negatives. "Mmmm, very pretty. Want to take a look at these, Tabitha? They might shock you," she said as she walked up to the maid, ignoring Cyclops as he tried to grab the negatives.

Tabitha shook her head. "No, ma'am. I am a _lady_."

Phoenix scoffed. "How do you know what kind of pictures they are if you're such a _lady_?"

"What kind of pictures are they?" Nightcrawler asked.

"They are _my_ pictures, and I want them back!" Cyclops made another grab, but Phoenix made sure the negatives were out of his reach.

"Oh, no," she told him, "I'm afraid there's something in them that concerns me, too."

Nightcrawler snatched the negatives away from Phoenix and held them up to the light. "Let me see..."

Shadowcat walked over so that she was standing behind Nightcrawler, taking a look at what the negatives showed.

Her eyes widened. "No one can get into that position!"

"Sure they can." Nightcrawler turned around to face Shadowcat and gave the negatives back to Phoenix. "Let me show you."

He took Shadowcat by the shoulders, laid her down on a couch, and started to climb on top of her.

"Get—get off of me!" Shadowcat protested, her face turning pink.

* * *

Rogue managed to find the bathroom, but when she opened the door, Professor Xavier's body fell on her!

She let out a piercing scream, causing the other guests, Tabitha, and McCoy to run out of the study to find a still screaming Rogue struggling to free herself from the Professor.

"The Professor's attacking her!" Spyke exclaimed, running over to get the body off of Rogue. He, along with Nightcrawler, set the Professor down on the floor. The rest gathered around.

"Well, he's dead now," Shadowcat commented.

Indeed, Professor Xavier was certainly dead by now; there was a bleeding wound on his temple, as though he had been hit over the head with something.

"Professor Xavier. Dead. Again." McCoy, who was kneeling beside the body, looked up at Rogue; she was looking even paler than usual and was swaying where she stood. "She's going to faint!"

"I've got her." Nightcrawler got up, went over to Rogue, and encircled her in his arms. She fell through his grasp, landing in a dead (no pun intended) faint on the floor.

"Sorry," Nightcrawler said.

Shadowcat looked at Spyke. "You've got blood on your hands."

Spyke glanced down at his bloodied hands. " _I didn't do it_!" he practically yelled as he got out a tissue from his pocket and wiped his hands clean.

McCoy lifted the Professor's arm and let it fall again. "He's got new injuries," he said. "Why would anyone want to kill him twice?"

"It seems so unnecessary," Phoenix agreed.

"It's what we call overkill," Cyclops said.

"It's what we call psychotic!" Nightcrawler retorted.

"Unless he wasn't dead before," Spyke pointed out as McCoy stood up to take a quick glance inside the bathroom.

"What's the difference?" Nightcrawler asked.

"That's what we're trying to figure out!" McCoy's voice rose as he continued. "We're trying to figure out who killed him, with what, and where!"

"There's no need to shout!" Nightcrawler fired back.

"I'M NOT SHOUTING!" McCoy shouted.

Silence.

"Alright, I am! I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shou—"

At that moment, the candlestick, which had been perched up above the bathroom door, fell and hit McCoy in the head. He hit the floor, knocked out.

"Guess that answers the question of what the murder weapon was," Phoenix remarked.

* * *

After a few minutes, Rogue and McCoy had been revived, and everyone (except McCoy; he had gone to get some ice for his head) went back to the study. Phoenix and Tabitha were carrying Ms. Lee's body, while Cyclops and Nightcrawler were carrying the Professor's body.

As the two women were getting Ms. Lee onto one of the couches, McCoy entered the study with his ice pack.

"Careful, don't get blood on the sofa," he warned.

"Tip her forward," Cyclops instructed, "over the arm."

Phoenix and Tabitha did so; Ms. Lee was now on her stomach, lying over the couch's arm.

"Now the Professor," Cyclops said. He, Nightcrawler, and Spyke managed to get Xavier's corpse into a sitting position on the couch. When that was done, Nightcrawler found himself stuck on the couch with the two corpses.

"Okay, who—" Cyclops closed the Professor's lifeless eyes before continuing. "Who had access to the candlestick?"

"All of us," Phoenix answered.

"It was given to you," Rogue told her.

"Yeah, but I dropped it on the table," Phoenix said. "Anyone could have picked it up. You, him." She pointed at Cyclops.

"Look," McCoy cut in, "we still have all these weapons." As he spoke, he went around the room to gather up said weapons. "The revolver, the rope, the wrench, the lead pipe. Let's put them all in this cupboard and lock it." He opened a cabinet and placed the weapons inside. "We have a homicidal maniac on our hands!"

There were murmurs of agreement as McCoy locked the cabinet with a key and put the key in the pocket of his jacket.

"What are you doing with the key?" Spyke asked.

"Putting it in my pocket," McCoy answered.

"Why?"

"To keep it safe, obviously."

"That means you can open it whenever you want," Shadowcat stated.

"But that also means you can't," McCoy pointed out.

"But what if you're the murderer?" Shadowcat half shrieked.

"I'm not," McCoy said.

"But what if you _are_?" Cyclops demanded.

McCoy shrugged. "The key's got to be put somewhere. If I've got it, I know I'm safe."

"We don't know that _we_ are!" Shadowcat yelled in frustration.

McCoy thought for a moment. "I have an idea. We'll throw it away!"

He ran out of the study; the rest, who agreed with this idea, followed him.

* * *

McCoy made it to the front door, everyone else right behind him. He opened the door, and prepared to throw the key into the continuing rain—

And didn't do it.

A blond-haired man was standing on the front porch, flinching back as though McCoy was about to hit him.


	6. An Unexpected Visitor

McCoy took a moment to recover and put the key back into his pocket; he and everyone else took care to look as innocent as they could.

"Sorry," McCoy told the newcomer, chuckling. "May we help you?"

"Well, I didn't mean to disturb the whole household," the man said. "You see, my car broke down out here, and I was wondering if I could use your phone."

McCoy paused. "Just a moment, please."

He, Tabitha, and the guests all got into a huddle, muttering to each other, leaving the man standing there in confusion.

After a few minutes, the group turned towards him.

"Very well, sir," McCoy said with a smile. "Would you like to come in?"

The man nodded and stepped into the mansion.

"So where is it?" he asked.

"The body?" McCoy blurted out.

"The phone," the man corrected. He raised an eyebrow. "What body?"

"There's no body—nobody," McCoy added quickly as everyone else shot him warning glances. "There's nobody in the study."

"No!" the others chimed in.

"But I think there's a phone in the lounge," McCoy finished.

The man smiled. "Thanks."

McCoy quickly shut the front door.

* * *

"When you've finished your call, perhaps you ought to wait in here," McCoy stated after he had led the man into the lounge.

"Uh, sure?" The man gave McCoy a questioning glance.

Without another word, McCoy went out of the lounge and closed the door, locking it.

He yelped as he felt a hand on his shoulder; turning around, he saw that it was Cyclops, along with Tabitha and the other guests.

"Where's the key to the cupboard?" Cyclops wanted to know.

"In my pocket," McCoy said. "You still want me to throw it away?"

"Yes!" everyone chorused.

And with that, McCoy went to the front door, opened it, and threw the key into the yard.

He went back inside the mansion, closing the door behind him.

"Well, what now?" McCoy asked, facing everyone else.

Phoenix walked towards him. "Mr. McCoy, let me out."

"No."

Her eyes narrowed. "Why not?"

"We have to know who did it," McCoy said. "We're in this together now."

"If you leave, I'll say you killed them both!" Shadowcat declared.

There were exclamations of agreement amongst the guests.

Phoenix turned to look at McCoy, her eyes flashing dangerously. "Oh, Mr. McCoy, I'll make you sorry you ever started this." She grabbed him by his tie. "One day, when we're alone together—"

"Phoenix, no man in his right mind would be alone together with you," Cyclops interrupted. "Anyone want a drink?"

Without waiting for an answer, Cyclops walked over to the study and peered in.

"Everything okay?" Shadowcat asked.

"Yep. Two corpses. Everything's fine," Cyclops said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

* * *

After everyone had filed into the library, Cyclops poured himself a drink, then decided to fill three more glasses, spilling a little on the table.

"All right," Cyclops began. "Mr. McCoy, am I right in thinking there's no one else in the house?"

McCoy thought for a moment. "No."

"Then there _is_ someone else in the house?"

"Sorry; I said no meaning yes."

"'No meaning yes'?" Cyclops repeated. "Look, I want a straight answer here. _Is_ there someone else or _isn't_ there, yes or no?"

"No," McCoy responded.

"No, there _is_ , or no, there _isn't_?" Cyclops was getting visibly frustrated.

" _Enough_!" Rogue yelled, breaking her glass against the fireplace. "Don't you think we should get that man out of here before he finds out what's been going on?"

"Yeah!" Phoenix agreed.

"How can we throw him out in this weather?" Nightcrawler asked.

"If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious!" Phoenix argued.

"If we throw him out, he may get even _more_ suspicious!" Nightcrawler shot back.

"If I were him, I'd be suspicious already," Cyclops said.

"Oh, who _cares_?" Shadowcat's voice rose to a more hysterical pitch with each sentence. "That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay locked up for another half hour! The police will be here by then, _and there are two dead bodies in the study_!"

"Shhhhh!" everyone else hissed.

"Well, there's still some confusion as to whether or not there's anyone else in the house," Cyclops stated.

"I told you, there isn't," McCoy said.

"No, there's no confusion, or no, there isn't anyone else?"

"Either. Or both."

"Give me a straight answer!" Cyclops snapped.

"Sure." McCoy paused. "What was the question?"

" _Is there anyone else in the house_?"

"NO!" everyone else shouted.

"That's what he says, but does he know?" Cyclops sounded calmer. "I suggest we handle this in a military fashion. We'll split up and search the house."

"Split up!" Shadowcat cried.

"Yes." Cyclops checked his watch. "We don't have a lot of time left, so we'll split up into pairs."

"Pairs?" Nightcrawler repeated. "But let's say one of us is the murderer. If we split up into pairs, whoever is left with the killer might get killed!"

"Then we would've discovered who the murderer is!" Cyclops pointed out impatiently.

"But the other half of the pair would be dead!" Shadowcat exclaimed.

"This is war, Shadowcat!" Cyclops strode over to her. "Casualties are inevitable. You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs—any cook will tell you that."

"But look what happened to the cook!" Shadowcat shrieked.

"Cyclops, are you willing to take that chance?" Spyke asked.

Cyclops stepped towards him. "What choice do we have?"

"None." Phoenix shook her head.

Spyke sighed. "I guess you're right."

The next few minutes were spent drawing lots to determine who would be pairing up with who. At the end of it, it was decided that Cyclops and Phoenix would search the ground floor, McCoy and Rogue would be on the second floor, Nightcrawler and Shadowcat would go down to the cellar, and Spyke and Tabitha would be up in the attic.

* * *

As everyone else headed off to their destinations, Cyclops and Phoenix stood in the middle of the hall.

"Well, we know what's in the study," Cyclops said, "we've just come from the library, and the stranger's locked up in the lounge."

"Let's look in the billiard room," Phoenix decided.

While they went to the billiard room, Nightcrawler opened the cellar's door. Shadowcat reached in and turned on the light, then they both entered the cellar.

McCoy, Rogue, Tabitha, and Spyke went upstairs to the second floor. Spyke and Tabitha went towards where the attic was, while McCoy and Rogue continued down the hall.

* * *

Tabitha and Spyke made it to the bottom of the attic staircase, and the latter turned on the light.

Neither of them moved for several seconds.

"Do you want to go up in front of me?" Spyke asked.

"Absolutely not," Tabitha answered.

"I'm sure there's nothing up there."

"Then you go in front."

"Okay, then."

But still neither of them moved; the only sound that could be heard was the rain hitting the roof. Finally, they slowly walked up the stairs.

* * *

Nightcrawler and Shadowcat were at the top of the cellar's stairs, both reluctant to go down.

"So...ladies first?" Nightcrawler asked tentatively.

Shadowcat shook her head. "No. You can go first."

"What are you afraid of?" Nightcrawler put a hand on Shadowcat's shoulder. "A fate worse than death?"

"No, just death," she replied. "And that wasn't funny."

* * *

On the second floor, Rogue and McCoy were standing near the doorways of two adjacent rooms.

"Are you going in there?" McCoy asked after a long pause.

"Yes," Rogue said. "Are you?"

McCoy nodded. He looked into the room on the right, while Rogue looked into the room on the left.

They quickly looked back at each other.

"Um, I don't see any light switches," McCoy said.

Rogue shrugged. "Well, there has to be light switches somewhere."

"Should I come in there with you?"

"No!" Rogue said immediately.

The two started searching in their respective rooms, then jumped out again after a few seconds.

* * *

Cyclops and Phoenix were still in the billiard room, stooping in the back of the corner bar. Presently, they stood up.

"Ladies first," Cyclops said, gesturing toward the bar's narrow egress.

"No, thanks." Phoenix headed for the exit at the same moment that Cyclops did. It was a very tight fit, but the pair managed to squeeze through the egress.

When that was done, Cyclops and Phoenix knelt down to look under the pool table. Nothing was there.

* * *

Shadowcat and Nightcrawler were still creeping down the stairs of the cellar. He turned on a light as she slipped on a step.

Nightcrawler jumped the last couple of steps and managed to catch Shadowcat as she fell.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Personally, I've been better," she admitted as he let go of her. " _Way_ better."

They began looking around.

* * *

After searching the billiard room and one of the closets, Phoenix and Cyclops opened a door to a room they hadn't been in thus far.

"What's this?" Cyclops wondered.

"Search me," Phoenix answered.

"Okay." Cyclops pressed Phoenix up against the doorframe and started to frisk her.

"Get your hands off me," Phoenix growled.

Cyclops did so; they went into the room. Cyclops turned on the light to reveal that it was the ballroom.

"Nobody's here," he stated.

"He could be behind those curtains." Phoenix pointed to said curtains at the far end of the room.

"You look. I'll search the kitchen." As Cyclops left, Phoenix let out an annoyed sigh.

She gazed at the curtains and slowly walked forward. She could have sworn she was seeing movement from behind the curtains...or maybe she was only imagining it?

Phoenix was now in front of the curtains, where there definitely was movement coming from behind. She hesitated, then threw them back.

All Phoenix saw was a broken window, the wind blowing in.

* * *

Someone entered the study, went over to the desk, and gathered up the papers and photographs from McCoy's envelope, as well as the tape from the mini recorder—the evidence of blackmail.

The person threw it all into the fire, then used a key (but wasn't it thrown away?) to unlock the cupboard, revealing the weapons.

* * *

"I'm a little nervous," the blond motorist was saying into the phone. "I'm at this mansion, and I've been locked in the lounge."

The man was so concentrated on his call that he didn't notice as the fireplace began to swivel around.

"Yes," he was saying. "The funny thing is, there's a whole group of people here having some sort of party. And one of them is an old acquaintance of mine, from—"

At that moment, someone crept up behind the motorist and hit him in the head with the wrench. The phone fell to the floor, the motorist following suit, and the person picked up the phone and hung it up.


	7. Things Get a Little Crazy

Phoenix and Cyclops made it to the conservatory. Cyclops turned on the lights, and they spent several seconds looking around.

As Phoenix walked towards the outer wall of windows, Cyclops picked up something dusty from off a shelf on the other side of the room. He grabbed a rag to wipe his hands; as he did this, he leaned against the wall, and it swung open.

Cyclops fell over with a yell, then quickly picked himself back up.

"Looks like a secret passage," he said.

Phoenix walked over to where Cyclops was standing. "Should we see where it leads?"

Cyclops grabbed a flashlight from the shelf. "What the hell. I'll go first; I've had a good life."

He turned on the flashlight, and he and Phoenix started walking down the secret passage.

* * *

The secret passage was narrow and the floor was uneven. After a few minutes of stumbling through, Cyclops and Phoenix found themselves in the lounge, emerging from behind the rotated fireplace.

Phoenix gasped. "Oh my God!"

The motorist was lying dead on the floor!

Cyclops and Phoenix turned around just in time to see the fireplace slide shut behind them. Panicked, Phoenix began screaming.

She and Cyclops ran to the lounge's door—it was locked. By now, Cyclops' yells joined in with Phoenix's screams. They started banging on the door.

* * *

From the attic, Spyke and Tabitha faintly heard screaming. They ran into the hall at the same moment that McCoy and Rogue were running towards the staircase. The four people collided and went sprawling.

They quickly got themselves untangled and started running downstairs towards the noise.

"Where's it coming from?" McCoy wondered.

"Where are we going?" Spyke asked loudly.

By the time they all made it to the ground floor, Shadowcat and Nightcrawler were stepping out of the cellar.

"Where are they?" Rogue's voice was oddly high-pitched.

"The lounge!" McCoy exclaimed.

Nightcrawler, Spyke, and McCoy ran to the door to the lounge.

"But it's locked!" Nightcrawler realized.

"We know," Spyke snapped.

"So unlock it!"

"Is there a key?" Spyke asked McCoy.

"Never mind that, unlock the door!" Nightcrawler yelled before McCoy could answer.

Spyke grabbed Nightcrawler and started shaking him. "You can't unlock a door without a key!" He released the other man and banged on the door.

"Let us in! Let us in!" Spyke bellowed.

"Let us out! Let us out!" Cyclops and Phoenix shouted from inside.

"I'll have to break it down!" McCoy backed up all the way across the hall to the door to the study, then ran at full speed towards the lounge's door. He hit it and ended up falling to the floor, holding his shoulder.

"I've got it!" Tabitha ran into the study.

All the while, Phoenix and Cyclops were still screaming.

"Will you just shut up?" Shadowcat shouted, exasperated.

Tabitha ran back into the hall with the revolver, but as she pulled the trigger, she tripped over McCoy, who was still sprawled out on the floor. The shot went wild, hitting the rope of the chandelier.

Spyke and Nightcrawler hit the deck, and while the chandelier started spinning, Shadowcat and Rogue ran into each other.

* * *

Cyclops and Phoenix were now crouched down on the floor.

"They're shooting at us," Cyclops said, sounding a bit faint.

* * *

Panic continued out in the hall, the chandelier still spinning. No one noticed as the rope began to fray.

Tabitha stood up and aimed the revolver at the door. Nightcrawler and Spyke, who were just getting up, hit the floor again. Tabitha fired the revolver twice, and both shots hit below the doorknob.

"I've been shot...I've been shot!" Cyclops could be heard exclaiming.

"You can come out now!" Tabitha called. She lowered the gun so that it was now pointing in the direction of Spyke and Nightcrawler. They quickly got out of the way.

The lounge's door opened, revealing Cyclops and Phoenix, both miraculously unwounded.

"Why are you shooting that thing at us?" Cyclops demanded, glaring at Tabitha.

"To get you out," she replied.

Cyclops shoved Tabitha away. "You could've killed us! I could've been killed!"

As Cyclops continued to speak, the chandelier was spinning more quickly, and the rope was almost completely frayed.

"I can't take any more scares."

At that moment, the rope snapped, and the chandelier fell to the floor, three feet away from Cyclops. There were several screams; Cyclops, going into shock, collapsed onto a loveseat.

After a moment of silence, Phoenix pointed into the lounge. "But look!"

The group raced into the room, stepping on glass as they went. The motorist's body was still lying on the floor.

Shadowcat gave Phoenix an accusatory look. "Which one of you did it?"

"We _found_ him! Together!" Phoenix cried, sounding hysterical.

"But how did you get in?" Rogue wanted to know. "The door was locked!"

"There's a secret passageway from the conservatory," Phoenix explained.

"Is that the same gun?" Nightcrawler asked Tabitha. "From the cupboard?"

"But it was locked!" Shadowcat pointed out.

"No, it was unlocked," Tabitha said.

"Unlocked?" Spyke, Nightcrawler, and McCoy repeated in unison.

"Yes." Tabitha nodded. "See for yourself!"

The group ran to the study. On the way, Tabitha tossed the revolver under the broken chandelier.

* * *

Sure enough, the cupboard with the weapons was open.

Shadowcat turned towards Tabitha, slightly suspicious. "How did you know it was unlocked?"

"I didn't," Tabitha replied. "I thought I'd break it open, but it was already open."

"A likely story," Shadowcat said skeptically.

Before anyone could say anything else, the doorbell rang. Everyone froze.

"Maybe they'll just go away," Phoenix said hopefully.

A tense moment passed, nobody moving.

The doorbell rang again.

Finally, Spyke spoke. "I'm going to open it."

Phoenix looked up at him. " _Why_?" she demanded.

"I have nothing to hide!" Spyke snapped. "I didn't do it!"

And with that, he strode out into the hall, followed by everyone else.

* * *

Spyke opened the front door, revealing a tanned man with black hair and wearing a police officer's uniform.

"Good evening, sir," the cop greeted, saluting Spyke.

He slammed the door in the cop's face, then reopened it.

"Yes?" Spyke tried to smile pleasantly; a few of the others were trying to follow his example, but the rest didn't bother to hide how nervous they were.

"I found an abandoned car near this place," the cop explained. "Did the driver come in here for help, by any chance?"

"No!" all expect Spyke said in unison.

Spyke hesitated. "Well, actually, yes."

"No!" everyone else repeated.

The cop looked puzzled. "There seems to be some disagreement."

"No!" By now, everyone had plastered smiles on their faces.

"Yes," Spyke contradicted, also smiling.

"...Uh, could I come in and use your phone?" the cop asked after a pause.

McCoy stepped forward. "Of course you can, sir," he said. "You may use the one in the—um, no..." He paused in thought. "Uh, you could use the one in the st—no..."

The cop was now looking _very_ confused.

McCoy spoke again. "Would you be kind enough to wait in the, um, in the library?"

"Okay," the cop said, nodding slowly.

He stepped inside the mansion, and noticed Tabitha.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" the cop asked her.

Tabitha shrugged.

"You all seem to be very anxious about something," the cop commented, addressing everyone else.

"It's the chandelier," McCoy said quickly. "It fell down; almost killed us. Won't you come this way, sir?"

As the cop followed McCoy, Phoenix suddenly ran over and closed the door to the study, trying to look nonchalant. A few seconds later, Nightcrawler rushed to the lounge's door and closed it as well.

The cop stared at Phoenix, then at Nightcrawler.

"These old houses can get drafty," McCoy said smoothly. He led the cop into the library, gesturing towards the phone.

"I wouldn't drink anything, just in case," McCoy said.

The cop turned around. "Just in case of what?"

But McCoy had already left the library, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

After he had locked the library's door, McCoy turned to face Tabitha and the guests.

"What now?" he whispered, walking towards them.

A moment of silence fell on the group.

"We should have told him," Spyke said.

Shadowcat scoffed. "Very well for you to say that now."

"I said it then!" Spyke protested.

"Shut up!" everyone else snapped.

McCoy gestured towards the shattered chandelier. "Let's clean this up."

* * *

The cop walked over to where the phone was after discovering that he had been locked in. But before he could pick it up, the phone rang.

He decided to answer it. "Hello?" He paused. "And may I ask who's calling?"

Another pause. "Um, would you hold on for a second?"

The cop put the phone down and walked over to the library's locked door.

"Let me out of here!" the cop yelled, banging on the door. "You've got no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest! And wrongful imprisonment! And obstructing an officer in the course of his duty! And _murder_!"

It was at those last two words that McCoy, who had a broom in hand, opened the door, the rest of the group standing behind him.

"What do you mean, 'murder'?" McCoy asked calmly.

"I just said it so you'd open the door," the cop replied, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The guests laughed nervously.

"What is going on here?" the cop questioned as he stepped into the hall. "Why did you lock me in? And...why are you getting phone calls from the FBI?"

"The FBI?" McCoy repeated.

"Why is the FBI on your phone?" Cyclops asked.

"I don't know," McCoy said. "It's on everyone else's; why shouldn't it be on mine? Excuse me." He went into the library, shutting and locking the door.

"What's going on here?" the cop asked again.

"Uh, we're having a little party," Phoenix said, draping herself on the cop.

The guests laughed again, even more nervously.

"Mind if I look around?" the cop wanted to know.

"Sure..." Phoenix's voice trailed off as she looked at the other guests. "You can show him around, Spyke!"

Spyke looked stunned. "Me?"

"Yes!" Phoenix insisted with a smile. "You can show him the dining room...the kitchen...the ballroom."

Spyke paused for a second. "Fine...fine," he said stiffly, walking over to the cop. "Officer, um, come with me. I'll show you the dining room, or the kitchen, or the ballroom."

As Spyke left with the cop, the rest of the guests went into the study. The bodies of Professor Xavier and Ms. Lee were still on one of the couches.

"Make it look convincing," Phoenix was saying.

Nightcrawler grinned at Shadowcat. "I've got just the thing."

Shadowcat could only blush.

* * *

When Spyke and the cop made it to the dining room, the former took a quick glance out in the hall before turning towards the latter.

"So! This is the dining room," Spyke unnecessarily announced.

"No kidding," the cop said. "What's going on in those two rooms?"

"Um...which two rooms?" Spyke asked as the cop went past him towards the hall.

* * *

Nightcrawler ran into the hall with the bottle of brandy in one hand, dragging Shadowcat along. By the time they had gone into the lounge and shut the door, the cop and Spyke entered the hall.

" _Those_ two rooms," the cop said, pointing at the study and the lounge.

"Oh, those two rooms..." Spyke's voice trailed off.

The cop strode over to the study's door, and Spyke quickly blocked his path.

"Officer, I don't think you should go in there," he said.

"Why not?" the cop asked.

"Uh..."

The cop dodged around Spyke and continued towards the door to the study. Spyke blocked the door with his body.

"Because it's...it's..." Spyke was scrambling. "It's all too shocking!"

The cop pushed Spyke aside and opened the door.

* * *

Music was playing in the study. Rogue was on a couch on top of the Professor's body, using her hand to move his arm against her and pretending to kiss him. Against the far wall, where a curtain was located, Cyclops was apparently embracing Ms. Lee; Phoenix was hidden behind the curtain, her hands on Cyclops' back and Ms. Lee's body propped up between them.

"It's not all that shocking," the cop said to Spyke, who was looking dumbfounded. "These folks are just having a good time."

And with that, the cop went back into the hall, followed by Spyke a second later.

* * *

In the lounge, the dead motorist was seated in a chair. Shadowcat poured some brandy into his mouth, then put the bottle in his hand.

Nightcrawler took Shadowcat by the arm, put her down on the couch, and pulled her into a heated kiss, to which Shadowcat eagerly responded.

"Excuse me?"

Shadowcat and Nightcrawler broke off their kiss and looked up to see that the cop and Spyke had come into the room.

"What?" Nightcrawler asked shortly, rather annoyed at the interruption.

The cop noticed the motorist for the first time; he leaned forward and sniffed.

"This man is drunk," the cop said to the couple. "Dead drunk."

"Dead right." Shadowcat chuckled.

The cop turned back to the motorist. "You're not gonna drive home, are you?"

"He won't be driving home, sir," Nightcrawler said. "I can promise you that."

"Someone will give him a lift, then?" the cop asked.

"Oh, we'll...we'll get him a car," Shadowcat replied.

"A big black car," Nightcrawler muttered.

"A limousine!" Shadowcat added quickly.

Nightcrawler lowered Shadowcat to the couch again. She let out a small, surprised squeak.


	8. Dropping Like Flies

McCoy exited the library, sighing slightly. When Spyke and the cop went into the hall from the lounge, McCoy forced a smile on his face and walked over to them.

"Officer," he began.

"You're too late," the cop cut in. "I've seen it all."

"You have?" McCoy spared a quick, rather panicked glance at Spyke. "I can explain."

"You don't have to," the cop said.

McCoy raised an eyebrow. "I don't?"

The cop smiled. "Don't worry; there's nothing illegal about any of this."

"Are you sure?" McCoy asked, confused.

"Of course!" The cop clapped McCoy on the shoulder. "This is America—it's a free country, don't you know that?"

McCoy was still confused. "I didn't know it was _that_ free."

The cop glanced back at Spyke, who tried to smile.

"May I use your phone now?" the cop asked McCoy.

"Certainly!" the butler answered cheerfully.

When the cop went into the library, McCoy closed the door and locked it.

"Why did you lock him in again?" Spyke asked.

"We haven't finished searching the house yet." As McCoy spoke, Tabitha and the other guests entered the hall.

"We're running out of time," Nightcrawler said in a whisper. "Only fifteen minutes until the police come!"

"The police already came!" Spyke pointed out, also whispering.

"Shut up!" everyone else whispered fiercely.

"Let's get on with it," McCoy said.

The group once again split up to search the house. McCoy, Rogue, Tabitha, and Spyke went upstairs, Cyclops and Phoenix headed to the kitchen, and Nightcrawler and Shadowcat returned to the cellar.

* * *

Once they were in the kitchen, Phoenix went over to look around the counter and drawers, while Cyclops opened a door, getting hit in the head with an ironing board in the process.

Phoenix walked to the pantry, opening it. She touched the back wall, only for it to open inward, revealing another secret passage.

"Look!" Phoenix exclaimed. "I can't believe it; I wonder where this one goes?"

Cyclops walked over to her. "Let's find out."

They walked into the secret passage. After a few minutes, Phoenix and Cyclops swung open a large painting and stepped into the study, where music was still playing.

"Let's try the ballroom again," Cyclops suggested.

And with that, he and Phoenix left the study.

* * *

In the library, the cop was on the phone.

"Hello?" He paused. "Yes, it's me. Listen, there's something funny going on around here, and I don't know what it is."

The cop paused again. "No, I'm not on duty. But I have a feeling that I'm in danger. You know that big, fancy mansion on—"

* * *

At the top of the cellar steps, someone pulled a lever, turning off all the electricity.

Instantly, the whole house was plunged into darkness. The music in the study abruptly stopped.

* * *

Tabitha went out of the attic and quietly descended the stairs to the ground floor.

She entered the billiard room and slowly closed the door.

Suddenly, the noose of the rope flew onto Tabitha's neck!

" _You_!" Tabitha gasped out, trying to struggle against the rope.

* * *

The cop stared at the phone, grumbling something to himself.

He didn't notice the library's door opening, nor did he notice as someone sneaked up behind him, the lead pipe raised.

* * *

The doorbell rang. Someone opened the front door, revealing a slim young woman with light red hair.

With a saucy expression on her face, the woman opened her mouth to speak—

And the person who opened the door fired the revolver. The woman fell to the ground, and the person slammed the door shut.

* * *

McCoy spent a few minutes stumbling around in the dark. He eventually made it to the entrance of the cellar and pulled the lever up. The electricity came back on.

The guests slowly reassembled in the hall. They all glanced into the billiard room. Tabitha's corpse was sprawled out on the pool table, the rope's noose still around her neck. Everyone walked away without a word.

The group went into the library to find the cop's dead body hung over a table. The cop's head was bleeding.

Spyke broke the silence. "Two murders."

Nightcrawler went over to the dead cop and picked up the lead pipe.

"Neither of them shot," he reported. "I thought I heard a gun."

"I did," Rogue said.

"So did I," Shadowcat added.

"I thought I heard the front door slam!" Phoenix exclaimed.

"The murderer must have run out," Cyclops said.

Everyone raced out of the room.

* * *

When they opened the front door, they found the young redhead lying dead on the porch. A bullet hole was neatly through her forehead.

" _Three_ murders," McCoy stated.

"Six, all together," Spyke said.

McCoy looked at the guests. "This is getting serious."

At any other time, this would have been the moment where someone would have said something sarcastic; perhaps something to the effect of, "You're just now figuring that out?" or, "Gee, what was your first clue?"

But as it was, none of the guests had anything to say as McCoy closed the door and locked it.


	9. Reenacting the Evening

Everyone was gathered in the hall. McCoy glanced down at the floor.

"No gun," he mused. "Tabitha dropped it here."

McCoy looked up at the guests. "All right...I know who did it."

"You do?" the others asked in unison.

The butler nodded. "And I'm going to tell you how it was all done. Follow me."

McCoy walked into the library, and the guests followed him.

"In order to help you understand what happened, I'll need to take you through the events of the evening, step by step." McCoy went to the table and picked up the champagne bottle. "At the start of the evening, Tabitha was in here by herself, waiting to offer you all a glass of champagne."

He set the bottle down and strode over to the library's door. "I was in the hall." McCoy paused. "I know because I was there. Then, I hurried across to the kitchen."

He ran out of the room, waving for the guests to follow.

"And the cook was in here, alive, sharpening knives and preparing for dinner," McCoy said once everyone was in the kitchen. "And then..."

McCoy ran out of the room and through the hall. The guests followed him after a second's pause. McCoy was now standing with his back to the front door.

"The doorbell rang, and it was you!" He pointed at Cyclops.

"Yes," Cyclops prompted.

The butler proceeded to speak rapidly. "I asked you for your coat, and I recognized you as Cyclops, and I prevented you from telling your real name because I didn't want any of you to use any name other than your pseudonym, and I introduced myself to you as a butler, and I ran across the hall to the library!"

The guests looked at McCoy with odd expressions as he ran back to the library, then they hurried to the library's entrance.

"And Tabitha met you," McCoy continued, "and smiled," he flashed a smile, "and poured you a drink." He ran out to the hall; the guests didn't bother to follow him, opting to turn around to look at him.

McCoy headed to the front door again. "And the doorbell rang, and it was Rogue, looking pale and tragic, and I took her coat, and made off!"

He returned to the library. "And then Rogue met Cyclops." McCoy mimicked Rogue's voice, then Cyclops'. "'Hello.' 'Hello.' And I noticed that Rogue and Tabitha...flinched!" He paused. "Then, there was a rumble of thunder and a crash of lightning."

McCoy used his hands to demonstrate the storm, not noticing as Shadowcat rolled her eyes.

"And, to make a long story short—"

"Too late!" the guests chorused.

"One by one, you all arrived." McCoy went out in the hall and towards where the gong was located, grabbing the gong's mallet.

"And the gong was struck by the cook." He banged the gong with the mallet. "And we went into the dining room."

Once they were all in the dining room, McCoy went around the table, gesturing towards one chair at a time.

"And Shadowcat sat here, and Nightcrawler sat here, and Rogue sat here, and Spyke, Phoenix, Cyclops." He pointed at the chair at the head of the table. "This chair was vacant.

"Anyway," McCoy went on, "you all revealed that you all received a letter." He pointed at various chairs. "And you had a letter, and you had a letter, and you had a letter—"

"Get on with it!" the guests shouted.

"The point is—blackmail!" McCoy declared.

"But all this came out _after_ dinner," Spyke pointed out, "in the study!"

"You're right!"

McCoy ran out of the dining room towards the study, the guests in tow.

* * *

In the study, McCoy was rushing around, pointing at different locations while everyone else stood there.

"Spyke stood here, and Rogue here, and Phoenix here, and Cyclops here, and Nightcrawler, and Shadowcat, and—"

" _Get on with it_!" the guests screeched.

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there!" McCoy assured them. "And Professor Xavier went to get his surprise packages from the hall, and you all opened your presents."

McCoy walked to the door of the study, closing it.

"Professor Xavier switched off the lights."

And with that, McCoy turned off the lights. The guests screamed. After a moment, Shadowcat turned the lights back on, revealing McCoy lying face first on the ground.

The guests, tired of all the nonsense, groaned in annoyance.

"The Professor was on the floor, apparently dead," McCoy said as he got up.

"He was dead! I checked!" Nightcrawler snapped.

"Then why was he bashed on the head with the candlestick a few minutes later if he was dead already?" McCoy countered.

Nightcrawler threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "All right, I made a mistake!"

"Right," McCoy agreed. "But if so, why was the Professor pretending to be dead?" His voice became quieter. "He must have realized his scheme had misfired, and the gunshot was intended to kill him, not me."

McCoy walked over to the Professor's body, pointing at one of his earlobes. "Look, the bullet grazed his ear. His best bet of escaping death was to pretend to be dead already."

"So whoever grabbed the gun from me in the dark was trying to kill him!" Nightcrawler concluded.

"But remember what happened next." McCoy went to the door and picked up a glass from the serving table.

"Shadowcat took a drink." He pretended to take a sip, then pointed at Nightcrawler. "You said, 'Maybe he was poisoned!' She screams."

McCoy screamed in a high-pitched falsetto, and as he took Shadowcat and sat her down on one of the couches, she started to scream.

"Then, when you couldn't soothe her, Spyke—" McCoy slapped Shadowcat in the face.

His next sentence was said in imitation of Spyke's voice. "'Well, it got her to stop screaming, didn't it?' Then, more screaming. Tabitha, the billiard room! We all rushed out!"

Everyone ran towards the billiard room.

* * *

The guests stood in the doorway of the billiard room, while McCoy stood in front of the pool table, facing them.

"But one of us," he paused slightly, "wasn't here."

"Wasn't here?" the guests repeated.

"Exactly," McCoy answered. "Maybe one of us was murdering the cook. Who wasn't here with us?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Do you know?" Spyke asked.

"I do!" McCoy said, certainty in his voice. He then rushed out into the hall, the guests watching.

"While we stood here, trying to stop Tabitha from panicking," McCoy's voice rose as he went to the study, "one of us could have stayed in the study, picked up the knife," he returned with the knife in his hand, "run down the hall," he ran to the kitchen, "and stabbed the cook."

To prove his point, McCoy stabbed the wall with the knife as the guests arrived in the kitchen.

"But how could he risk it?" Shadowcat asked. "We might've seen him running back."

McCoy went over to the pantry and touched the back wall, exposing the kitchen/study passage.

"Not if they used this secret passage," he said.

A few guests gasped.

"And the murderer ran down the secret passage to the study." McCoy ran out of the kitchen, the guests following.

* * *

Once they reached the study, McCoy walked to the large painting and pushed it open.

"How did you know?" Cyclops questioned.

McCoy shrugged. "I've known all along."

"So you could be the murderer," Spyke stated.

"Don't be ridiculous." McCoy chuckled. "If I was the murderer, why would I reveal to you how I did it?"

"Well..." Spyke paused. "Who else knew about the secret passage?"

"We found it," Phoenix said, nudging Cyclops.

" _You_ found it," Cyclops corrected as he turned to look at Phoenix. "You could've known it all the time."

"But I didn't!" she protested.

"Why should we believe you?" Shadowcat demanded.

"Because she was with us in the billiard room while Tabitha was screaming," McCoy told her. "Don't you remember?"

"What I don't understand is why the cook was murdered," Shadowcat said.

"Yeah," Nightcrawler agreed. "She had nothing to do with Professor Xavier."

"Of course she did," McCoy contradicted, walking towards the guests. "I gathered you all here together because you were all implicated in the Professor's blackmail. Did none of you realize that the others were involved, too?"

The guests fell silent.

"What others?" Rogue finally questioned.

"The cook," McCoy replied. "And Tabitha."

" _What_?" the guests exclaimed.

"That's how he got all his information," McCoy continued. "Before he could blackmail anyone, the Professor had to discover their guilty secret. The cook and Tabitha were his accomplices."

"I see," Cyclops said thoughtfully. "So whoever knew that the cook was involved killed her?"

"Yes." McCoy nodded. "I know, because I was the Professor's butler, that the cook had worked for one of you."

"Who?" the guests asked.

McCoy ignored the question, turning to address Rogue. "You recognized Tabitha, didn't you? Don't deny it!"

Rogue bristled. "What do you mean, 'don't deny it'? I'm not denying anything."

"Another denial!"

The pale woman huffed. "All right, it's true. I knew Tabitha," she admitted rather crossly. "My husband had an affair with her, but I didn't care. I mean, I wasn't jealous."

As Rogue began to laugh, McCoy turned towards Phoenix.

"You knew Tabitha, too, didn't you?" he questioned.

"Yes," Phoenix answered. "She worked for me."

"And you also knew her, sir," McCoy went on, now looking at Cyclops. "We've already established that you were one of Phoenix's 'clients.' That's why you were so desperate to get those negatives—photographs of you and Tabitha in rather compromising positions, remember?"

"Professor Xavier threatened to send those pictures to my mother," Cyclops said. "The shock would've killed her!"

"Well, that would be quite an achievement," Rogue remarked dryly, "since you've told us that she's dead already." She looked at McCoy and pointed at Cyclops. "So, he had the motive."

"You _all_ had a motive," McCoy reminded her.

"But where and when was the Professor killed?" Cyclops wanted to know.

"Don't you see?" McCoy grabbed Spyke. "Look, we came back to the study with Tabitha." He pushed Spyke to the ground, ignoring the yelp from the other man. "The Professor was on the floor, pretending to be dead. But one of us notices he's alive." He yanked Spyke back up and carelessly tossed him towards a chair. "So, I explained that I was the Professor's butler and I invited you all here, and we realized there was only one other person in the house."

"The cook!" everyone exclaimed in unison.

The guests ran out of the room, while McCoy went down the secret passage.

* * *

The guests rushed into the kitchen, but there was no sign of McCoy.

Spyke walked over to the pantry. "Where is he?"

As the pantry door opened, Phoenix screamed. McCoy, pretending to be dead, fell out of the pantry and into Spyke's arms. Exasperated, Spyke let McCoy fall to the floor.

"By now, the cook was dead," McCoy said, opening his eyes and getting to his feet. "We put her down with our backs to the pantry. One of us slipped through the same secret passage—"

"Again?" Shadowcat interrupted.

"Of course," McCoy told her. "Back to the study!"

They all ran out.

* * *

When everyone was in the study, McCoy walked over to the secret passage.

"The murderer was in the secret passage. Meanwhile," McCoy went over to Spyke and pushed him down again, "Professor Xavier had been on the floor. He jumped up." McCoy picked Spyke back up, then dropped him again and ran back to the secret passage. "The murderer came out of the secret panel and picked up the candlestick."

McCoy pretended to pick up an imaginary candlestick and chased a panicked Spyke into the hall, the guests following.

"Professor Xavier went into the hall, looking for an escape," the butler continued. "The murderer crept up behind him, and killed him!" He knocked Spyke down to the floor.

" _Will you stop that_?" Spyke yelled as soon as he got up.

"No," McCoy said simply, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him towards the bathroom. "Then, he threw him in the toilet," he threw Spyke into the bathroom and shut the door, "and nonchalantly rejoined us beside the cook's body in the kitchen. It took less than half a minute."

"So who wasn't there the entire time in the kitchen?" Cyclops asked.

"Whoever it was is the murderer!" McCoy declared.

He ran off, and Spyke stumbled out of the bathroom.

* * *

McCoy ran back to the study and towards the cabinet, the guests a few steps behind him.

"And we put the weapons in the cupboard," McCoy was saying, "locked it, and ran to the front door..."

Everyone hurried to the front door, and McCoy opened it and pretended to start throwing a key away.

"...to throw away the key!" He paused. "The motorist! I didn't throw the key away; I put it in my pocket. And someone could've taken it from my pocket and substituted another."

"We were all in a huddle—anyone could've done that!" Nightcrawler said.

"Precisely." McCoy shut the front door.

"Wait a minute," Spyke said suddenly. He looked at Cyclops. "Cyclops has a top-secret Pentagon job," he now looked at Rogue, "Rogue's husband was a nuclear physicist, and," he ran to the billiard room and pointed in, "Tabitha is a link between them!"

"What is your top-secret job, Cyclops?" Nightcrawler asked.

"I can tell you," McCoy said. "He's working on the secret of the next Hydrogen bomb."

There was a moment of silence.

"How did you know that?" Cyclops questioned.

"Can you keep a secret?" McCoy asked.

"Yes."

"So can I."

"Was this a plot between them, Mr. McCoy, or did Cyclops do it alone?" Shadowcat wanted to know.

"We'll see," McCoy told her. "Let's look at the other murders."

"Bad luck that the motorist arrived at that moment," Nightcrawler remarked.

"It wasn't luck," McCoy said. "I invited him."

"You did?" Shadowcat and Rogue asked in unison.

"Of course. Everyone here tonight was either Professor Xavier's victim or accomplice," McCoy explained. "Everyone who's died gave him vital information about one of you. I got them here so they'd give evidence against him and force him to confess."

"Oh, yeah?" Phoenix asked doubtfully. "What about that motorist? What kind of information did he have?"

"I knew him when I was in the military," Cyclops confessed, sinking into a chair.

"And what was he holding over you?" McCoy inquired.

Cyclops' voice shook. "He knew that I stole army weapons and sold them on the black market. That's how I made all my money; that's what the Professor was blackmailing me for. But that does not make me a murderer!" he added quickly.

"So, was the policeman working for Professor Xavier, too?" Shadowcat asked after a pause.

"The cop was from New York City," Phoenix answered. "He was on my payroll. I bribed him once a week so I could carry on with business. The Professor found out, _somehow_."

"And, that stripper?" Spyke asked.

Everyone went to the front door, and Nightcrawler opened it, seeing the redheaded stripper's corpse. By now, the rain had stopped.

"Funny story, really," Nightcrawler said quietly. "Two years ago, I got really drunk and ended up having a one-night stand with her. The Professor must have found out about that, too," he added, more to himself than to the others.

There was a momentary pause, then McCoy clapped his hands together.

"Well, let's put her in the study with the others."

* * *

A few minutes later, Spyke and McCoy had moved the stripper's body to the study, and they were now joining everyone else in the hall.

"So," McCoy began, "now you all know why they died. Whoever killed Professor Xavier also wanted his accomplices dead."

"How did the murderer know about them all?" Cyclops asked. "I mean, I had guessed that the motorist informed on me to the Professor, but I didn't know anything about any of you until this evening."

"First, the murderer needed to get the weapons," McCoy responded. "Easy—he stole the key from my pocket. Then we all followed Cyclops' suggestion to split up and search the house."

"That's right!" Shadowcat exclaimed. "Cyclops _did_ suggest it!"

Cyclops looked away.

"And one of us got away from his or her partner and hurried to the study." McCoy led the guests to the aforementioned room. "On the desk was the envelope from Professor Xavier. It contained photographs and letters—the evidence of the Professor's network of informants."

"Where's the envelope now?" Rogue asked.

"Gone. Destroyed." McCoy looked around, then stepped over to the fireplace. "Perhaps in the fire...?" He threw open the grate and pulled out the remains of the tape made earlier. "Aha!"

McCoy turned around to address the guests. "Anyway, having found out the whole story, the murderer went to the cupboard, unlocked it with the key, took out the wrench—"

Phoenix suddenly ran into the hall and pointed at the lounge.

"Then we found the secret passage from the conservatory to the lounge, where we found the motorist dead!" she shrieked.

"That's right!" McCoy ran out into the hall towards the door to the lounge, the others following. "And we couldn't get in. So Tabitha ran to the open cupboard, picked up the gun, and shot the door open." He mimed shooting a gun. "Bang! And then...the doorbell rang!"

No sooner had those last three words left McCoy's mouth that the doorbell rang. Everyone froze in terror.

"Oh, whoever it is has _got_ to go away, or they'll be killed!" Shadowcat cried, sounding as though she was at her wits' end.

She opened the front door, revealing a pleasantly smiling man with light brown hair and carrying religious pamphlets.

"Good evening," the man greeted kindly. "Have you ever given any thought to the kingdom of heaven?"

"What?" Shadowcat stood there, stunned.

"Repent," the man said as Shadowcat stared at the others in disbelief. "The kingdom of heaven _is_ at hand."

"You ain't just whistling Dixie," Rogue told him.

"Armageddon is almost upon us," the man said.

"I tell you the truth—it's already here!" Nightcrawler informed him.

"Go away!" Shadowcat snapped.

"But your souls are in danger!" the man insisted.

"For God's sake, our _lives_ are in danger!" Shadowcat yelled, slamming the door in the man's face.

McCoy continued as though nothing had happened.

"The cop arrived next. We locked him in the library. We forgot the cupboard with the weapons was now unlocked, then we split up again!" McCoy ran to the cellar's entrance, where the lever was. "And the murderer switched off the electricity!"

He pulled the lever down, and everything went pitch black.

Rogue screamed.

"Oh my God!" Cyclops exclaimed.

"Not again!" Shadowcat complained.

"Turn on the lights!" Phoenix shouted.


	10. Ending A

McCoy turned the lights back on.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you," he said.

"You're a bit late for that!" Spyke snapped. "I hate it when he does that," he muttered to Rogue, who shuddered.

"Then there were three more murders," McCoy stated.

"So which of us killed them?" Rogue wanted to know.

"None of us killed Professor Xavier or the cook."

"So who did?" Spyke and Rogue both asked impatiently.

McCoy walked closer to the guests. "The one person who wasn't with us." He paused for dramatic effect. "Tabitha."

" _Tabitha_?" the guests repeated in shock.

"She was outside the study, listening to our conversation," McCoy said. "She heard the gunshot; she thought the Professor was dead. And while we all examined the bullet hole, she crept into the study, picked up the knife, ran into the kitchen, and stabbed the cook. We didn't hear the cook scream because Shadowcat was screaming about the 'poisoned' brandy. Then, Tabitha went to the billiard room. She screamed, and we all ran to her."

"But when did she kill Professor Xavier?" Cyclops asked.

"When I said," McCoy told him. "We all ran to the kitchen to see the cook. Tabitha hid in the study to check that the Professor was dead. He got up and went into the hall, so she hit him on the head with the candlestick and dragged him to the toilet."

"Why?" Phoenix asked.

"To create confusion!" McCoy replied.

"It worked," Shadowcat said under her breath.

"Why did she do it?" Nightcrawler wondered.

"Was it because she was acting under orders?" McCoy asked rhetorically. "From the person who later killed her."

"Who?" Nightcrawler, Shadowcat, and Phoenix asked in unison.

McCoy walked up to Cyclops. "Was it one of her clients?" He turned towards Rogue. "Or was it a jealous wife?" He stepped over to Nightcrawler. "Or a cheating husband? No..."

The butler finally strode over to Phoenix. "It was her employer, Phoenix!"

"That's a lie!" Phoenix said at once.

"Is it?" McCoy raised an eyebrow at her. "You used her the way you always used her. You killed the motorist when we split up to search the house."

"How could I have known about the secret passage?" Phoenix demanded.

"Easy. Tabitha told you," McCoy said. "So, when we split up again, you switched off the electricity. It was easy for you, here on the ground floor. Then, in the dark, you got the lead pipe and the rope, strangled Tabitha, ran to the library, killed the cop, picked up the gun where Tabitha dropped it, opened the front door, recognized the stripper from her photograph, and shot her."

"You have no proof," Phoenix stated coldly.

"The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies, empty your purses." As McCoy spoke, the guests began to do so. "Whoever has the gun is the murderer."

Suddenly, Phoenix pulled the revolver from her purse and pointed it in the general direction of the other, startled guests.

"Brilliantly worked out, Mr. McCoy." A wicked smile crossed her lips as she slowly began her way to the front door. "I congratulate you."

"Me, too!" Spyke chimed in.

"Shut up!" Phoenix snapped, pointing the revolver at him.

"Now, there's one thing I don't understand," Cyclops started.

" _One_ thing?" Nightcrawler cut in.

Cyclops continued. "Why did you do it? At least half of New York City must know what kind of business you run. You were in no real danger. The whole city would be implicated if you were exposed."

Phoenix chuckled, addressing the room at large. "I don't think they know my real business. My business is secrets. Tabitha found them out for me." Her voice rose as she walked closer to the guests. "The secrets of Cyclops' Hydrogen bomb," she pointed the gun at Cyclops, "of Nightcrawler's U.N. contacts," now the gun was pointed at Nightcrawler, "and the work of Rogue's husband," she walked over to Rogue, pointing the gun at her, "the nuclear physicist."

"So it _is_ political," Spyke concluded. "You're a Communist!"

"No, Spyke," Phoenix contradicted. "Communism is just a red herring. Like all members of the oldest profession, I'm a Capitalist. And I'm gonna sell my secrets— _your_ secrets—to the highest bidder."

"And what if we don't cooperate?" Cyclops asked.

"You will, or I'll expose you," Phoenix threatened.

"We could expose _you_ ," Nightcrawler told her. "Six murders?"

Phoenix snorted. "I hardly think it would enhance your reputation at the U.N., Nightcrawler, if it's revealed that you're implicated not only in adultery, but in the deaths of _six_ people."

"You don't know what kind of people they have at the U.N." Nightcrawler smiled. "I might go up in their estimation."

"It's no good—" Cyclops suddenly stopped speaking as Phoenix pointed the revolver at him; a second later, he continued, "blackmailing me, ma'am. I have no more money."

"Neither do I!" the other guests chorused.

"I know, sweetie," Phoenix said to Cyclops. "But you can pay me in government information." She waved the revolver around. "All of you."

Phoenix walked up to McCoy, aiming the gun at him.

"Expect you, Mr. McCoy. As a mere butler, you don't have any access to government secrets." She put her hand on the trigger. "So, I'm afraid your moment has come."

"Not so fact, Phoenix," McCoy said. "I do have a secret or two."

"Oh, yeah? Such as?"

"The game's up, Phoenix. There are no bullets left in that gun."

Phoenix scoffed. "You expect me to fall for that old trick?"

"It's not a trick." McCoy counted on his fingers. "There was one shot at the Professor in the study, two at the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and one at the stripper."

"That's not six."

"One plus two plus two plus one."

Phoenix shook her head. "There was only one shot that got the chandelier; that's one plus two plus _one_ plus one."

"Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus _two_ plus one plus one."

"Okay, fine. One plus two plus one— _shut up_!" Phoenix suddenly snarled, her pretty face twisted in anger. "The point is, there's only one bullet left in this gun, and guess who's gonna get it?"

Just then, the doorbell rang, distracting Phoenix. McCoy took advantage of this by turning Phoenix's arm around, taking the gun, and forcing her to kneel on the floor.

Spyke hurried to open the front door, and cops started pouring in and securing the house.

Cyclops raised his hands in the air. "I'm only a guest!" he said cheerfully.

McCoy was still holding Phoenix. "Where's the chief?" he asked.

The brown-haired man from before walked in, carrying a gun. Apparently, he was the police chief, but had disguised himself as a preacher.

"Well done, McCoy," he said as he stepped over to where Phoenix was kneeling. He looked at the redhead.

"I did warn you, ma'am," the chief said as McCoy pulled Phoenix to her feet. "The FBI are experts on Armageddon."

Phoenix turned to address McCoy. "Don't hate me for trying to shoot you."

McCoy shrugged. "As I was telling you, there are no bullets left in this gun. See?"

He pulled the trigger, and the final bullet shot the rope of the overhead chandelier.

McCoy paused, appearing puzzled. "One plus two...plus one..."

Cyclops was counting on his fingers. "Plus two, plus one...is—"

And at that moment, the chandelier shattered on the floor behind him.

**The End**


	11. Ending B

McCoy turned the lights back on and continued speaking.

"In the dark, the murderer ran across the hall into the study, picked up the rope and the lead pipe, ran to the billiard room," McCoy ran to the door of the aforementioned room, "strangled Tabitha," he put his hands around Rogue's neck, pretending to choke her and letting her fall to the floor, "ran to the library," he ran towards the library's door; Spyke ducked out of the way, "and hit the cop on the head with the lead pipe," he pretended to hit Cyclops with an imaginary lead pipe.

"Then," McCoy went on, "coming out of the library, the doorbell rang—it was the stripper. The murderer picked up the gun where Tabitha dropped it, ran to the door, opened it, recognized the girl, shot her, and ran back to the cellar!" He grabbed Shadowcat's hand and dragged her towards the cellar's entrance.

"The cellar!" the others exclaimed.

"Yes," McCoy said, pointing inside.

"But Cyclops wasn't in the cellar," Shadowcat pointed out.

"No." McCoy slowly turned to look at Nightcrawler. "But your partner was."

Nightcrawler's eyes suddenly hardened. "What do you mean?" he asked coolly.

McCoy was now addressing Nightcrawler. "You murdered them all," he stated. "You were the person who was missing when the cook and Professor Xavier were murdered."

"Now, why would I have murdered the cook?" Nightcrawler questioned.

"Same reason why you killed the motorist, Tabitha, the cop, and the stripper: in case either of them told the Professor about you."

"So it all has nothing to do with the dead nuclear physicist and Cyclops' work on the new Hydrogen bomb?" Spyke asked.

McCoy chuckled. "No; Communism was just a red herring. Nightcrawler did it all."

"There's no proof." Nightcrawler's voice was like ice.

"Well, the gun is missing," McCoy said. "Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies, empty your purses." The guests began to do so. "Whoever has the gun is the murderer."

Suddenly, Nightcrawler pulled the revolver out of his pocket and aimed it at McCoy.

"All right, it's true. I did it." Nightcrawler was glaring as he slowly made his way to the front door. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," McCoy answered.

"Nothing?" Nightcrawler repeated flatly.

"Nothing at all." McCoy spoke calmly. "I don't approve of murder, but it seems to me that you've done the world a service by getting rid of a blackmailer and his informers."

"But the police will be here any minute," Cyclops said. "What happens then?"

"Why should the police come?" McCoy asked rhetorically. "Nobody's called them."

A moment of shocked silence ensued.

"You mean...?" Nightcrawler's voice trailed off.

McCoy was smiling. "That's right. Now, I suggest that we stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and pretend that none of this has ever happened."

"Great idea!" Nightcrawler agreed cheerfully. "I'll leave first...if you don't mind," he added sarcastically, using the revolver to wave everyone into a group.

Nightcrawler glared at each one in turn as he walked backward towards the front door. When his gaze fell on Shadowcat, however, his expression softened and he smiled at her, as though he was assuring her of something. His smile faded as he carefully slipped outside.

As soon as Nightcrawler was gone, several guests let out relieved sighs.

"I _told_ you I didn't do it!" Spyke exclaimed.

"But what if the authorities find out what happened?" Cyclops asked.

"The FBI will take care of that," McCoy said.

Cyclops looked at him. "You mean...?"

McCoy smiled. "Remember that phone call the cop answered? I work for the FBI. How else could I've known everything about you all?"

"There's still one thing I don't understand," Phoenix began.

" _One_ thing?" Rogue interjected.

Phoenix continued. "Who is Nightcrawler having an affair with?"

"I can explain that," Shadowcat replied. "It's me. Nightcrawler and I have been sneaking around for the last year and a half. His wife doesn't have a clue." She rolled her eyes. "What I don't get is why he hasn't left her for me yet.

"Anyway," Shadowcat continued, "you know how Professor Xavier was blackmailing me for a causing a car wreck? I was supposed to meet up with Nightcrawler at a hotel that night, but I had my accident and we had to reschedule. When the Professor started blackmailing me, I figured I'd might as well go along with it; if I was exposed, no doubt Nightcrawler would've been exposed, too."

"Okay, this is all very interesting," Spyke cut in, looking at McCoy, "but is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after multiple murder?"

"Yes," McCoy said. "After all, what could be gained by exposure?"

* * *

Nightcrawler hurried to the driveway towards his car, pocketing the revolver and getting out his keys.

The brown-haired man from earlier stepped over to him. "Hello, sir."

Nightcrawler turned around. "What are you still doing here?" he asked cautiously.

The man smiled. "The kingdom of heaven _is_ at hand."

He pulled out a gun as floodlights engaged and cops poured out in the yard.

"Okay, boys, take him away," the chief commanded.

McCoy and the other guests hurried out on the front porch just in time to see a loudly protesting Nightcrawler being forced into a police car.

As several cops ran into the mansion, the chief turned to look at McCoy.

"McCoy, we got him," he announced.

"You see?" McCoy asked, addressing the guests. "Like the Mounties, we always get our man."

"Is Nightcrawler gonna be alright?" Shadowcat fretted.

Cyclops, Spyke, Rogue, and Phoenix looked at her as though she was crazy.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be able to continue seeing him," McCoy told Shadowcat. "While he's in prison, that is."

A few seconds passed before McCoy spoke again.

"Would anyone like some fruit or dessert?"

**The End**


	12. Ending C

McCoy turned the lights back on.

"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten anyone," he said.

"You're a bit late for that!" Spyke yelled angrily.

"Then, there were three more murders," McCoy stated.

" _So who did it_?" the guests shouted.

McCoy started to stride across the hall. "Let's consider each murder one by one."

He walked up to Nightcrawler. "Nightcrawler, you knew that Professor Xavier was still alive. You fired the gun at him in the dark and missed, so you pretended he was dead. That's how you were able to kill him later, unobserved."

"That's right!" Phoenix exclaimed suddenly, pointing at Nightcrawler. "He was the missing person in the kitchen after we found the cook dead!"

"But he was with us in the billiard room when we found Tabitha screaming," Spyke pointed out. "If that's when the cook was killed, how did he do it?"

"I didn't!" Nightcrawler protested.

Shadowcat scoffed. "You don't expect us to believe that, do you?"

"I expect you to believe it," McCoy told her. "You killed the cook. She used to be your cook, and she informed on you to Professor Xavier about the circumstances surrounding the night of your car accident."

Nightcrawler stared at Shadowcat. "You told your cook about—"

But McCoy talked over him, still addressing Shadowcat. "Don't you remember your fatal mistake? You told us at dinner that we were eating one of your favorite recipes. And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in New York City."

"Is that what we ate?" Spyke looked as though he was going to be sick.

McCoy turned towards Cyclops. "Cyclops, when we saw the motorist at the front door, you took the key to the weapons' cupboard out of my pocket, then you suggested that we all split up. You separated from Phoenix, crossed the hall, opened the cupboard, took the wrench, ran to the conservatory, entered the lounge through the secret passage, and killed the motorist with a blow on the head. Like that!" he added as he pretended to hit someone in the head.

And with that, McCoy grabbed Rogue's hand and they both ran upstairs.

"This is incredible!" Rogue exclaimed.

"Not as incredible as what happened next!" McCoy said. "After we all split up again, I went upstairs with you; yes, you, Rogue! And while I was in the master bedroom, you hurried downstairs, turned off the electricity, got the rope from the open cupboard, and throttled Tabitha."

McCoy regarded Rogue with a hard look. "You _were_ jealous that your husband was sleeping with Tabitha—that's why you killed him, too!"

"Yes...yes, I did it." Rogue's voice held no emotion. "I killed Tabitha. I...I...God, I _hated_ her...so much..." She started trembling.

Before Rogue could continue speaking, McCoy went on. "While you were in the billiard room, Phoenix seized the opportunity and, under cover of darkness, got to the library, where she hit the cop, whom she'd been bribing, on the head with the lead pipe! True or false?" he asked Phoenix.

"True!" The redhead sounded impressed. "Who are you, Sherlock Holmes?"

"So it must have been Spyke who shot the stripper!" Cyclops concluded.

"I didn't do it!" Spyke said at once.

"Well, there's nobody else left," Nightcrawler pointed out.

"But I didn't do it!" Spyke paused, then his eyes widened. "The gun is missing! Whoever's got the gun shot the girl!"

Suddenly, McCoy pulled the revolver from his pocket. "I shot her."

" _You_?" the guests, not including Spyke, exclaimed in surprise.

"So it was you," Spyke said knowingly as Phoenix backed away from McCoy. "I was going to expose you."

"I know," McCoy told him. "So I choose to expose myself."

"Please, there are ladies present!" Cyclops cut in.

"You all thought Professor Xavier was dead," McCoy said to the guests. "But why? None of you even met him until tonight."

There was a long pause, but then realization dawned on everyone.

" _You're_ Professor Xavier!" Spyke spoke for the other guests, pointing at McCoy.

McCoy—or rather, Professor Xavier—grinned sinisterly.

"Wait a minute!" Nightcrawler burst out, running to the door of the study. "Who did I kill?"

"My butler," McCoy/Xavier replied indifferently, using the revolver to wave Nightcrawler to join the group.

"He was expendable, like all of you," he continued. "I'm grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers; saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against me."

"This has nothing to do with my dead nuclear physicist husband or Cyclops' work with the new top-secret Hydrogen bomb?" Rogue asked.

McCoy/Xavier laughed. "No; Communism was just a red herring." He ran to the front door, keeping the revolver aimed at the guests.

"But the police will be here any minute!" Spyke exclaimed. "You'll never get away with this, any of you!"

"Why should the police come?" McCoy/Xavier asked. "Nobody's called them."

"You mean...oh my God, of course!" Shadowcat cried, her eyes widening.

"So why shouldn't we get away with it?" McCoy/Xavier went on. "We'll stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and forget that any of this ever happened."

Spyke glared at him. "And...and you'll just go on blackmailing us all."

McCoy/Xavier smirked. "Of course. Why not?"

"Well, I'll tell you why not." Spyke whipped out a pistol from his jacket and fired.

Phoenix let out a scream as McCoy/Xavier was hit by the gunshot.

"Good shot, Spyke," he commented, shocked, as he slid to the floor. He stared at the blood flowing from his chest. "Very good..."

A few seconds later, he was dead, and Spyke stood up to his full height, lowering the pistol.

Rogue hurried over to Spyke, and he pointed the gun at her.

"Are you a cop?" she asked.

"No, I'm a plant," he answered.

"A plant?" Phoenix repeated. "I thought men like you were usually called a fruit."

"Very funny." Spyke pulled out a badge. "FBI. That phone call the cop answered was for me."

He walked over to the front door and grabbed the handle, smirking triumphantly.

"I told you I didn't do it." Spyke opened the door, and several cops rushed in.

The brown-haired man from earlier—the police chief—followed them in.

"All right. Whodunit?" he asked.

The guests all started talking at once, blaming each other. The cops, confused, kept pointing their guns at different guests.

Spyke shouted above the din. "They all did it! But if you want to know who killed Professor Xavier, it was me, with the revolver, in the hall."

Spyke put his gun back into his jacket, grinning. "Okay, Chief, take 'em away. I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife."

**The End**


End file.
